Standing Triumphant On the Field of Non-Scale Victory!

Today, I’m proud…and quite a little sassy.

I’ve been blogging for a while about the difference in the way my clothes fit.  And, of course, I’ll never forget the feeling I had a couple weeks ago when I wore jeans for the first time in two years.  Mr. Scale may be moving a little slow, but April seems to be the month of NSV’s:  Non-Scale Victories.

This morning when I woke up I realized I haven’t taken my measurements in a little while, so I busted out the ol’ tape measure of doom and started measuring.  Imagine my surprise and delight when I did the math and realized I’ve lost a total of 19.5 inches off my body in the last 4 months.  Ho…lee…CRAP!

I’ve lost an inch off my neck (do I look like Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson or something?)   I’ve lost 4 inches off my waist, 2.5 inches off my hips, an inch and a half off my thighs, an inch off of the cankles…and a whopping 3 inches off Starsky & Hutch (aka my boobs).  I’ve also lost inches on my arms and calves.  Only my wrists stayed the same, but I forgive them.

I went to work this morning with a big smile on my face, which was wiped clean for a brief period when a guy I call “Slurpy Slurpersons” was totally motor boating his morning coffee.

I perked up with some coffee myself (which I did not slurp, thank you very much) and had fun chatting with my super supportive co-workers about my newest non-scale victory.

But that’s not where this story ends, my friends.  No, it is not.  Sometime after I text messaged the Hot Mess Hubby to express my heartfelt condolences that my ta-ta’s are 3 inches smaller, a realization began building…slowly…in the back of my mind.  3 inches…hmm…3 inches…off the boobs….hmm….

I bolted out of my office chair and hit the ladies room faster than a vegan with lactose intolerance.  I had to see if it was true.  I’m sure everyone else thought I just had to pee, but I just needed to take off my bra.


You heard me.  I jumped into the nearest stall and took off my bra.

For a little over a year, I’ve had to use these horrible extensions on all my bras because I’m too fat to even wear the biggest bra you can buy in a retail store.  No one else knows about it, of course, but it puts a little ding in my morale every morning when I get dressed and I see that damn extension.

I took the extension off and tried to fasten my bra without it…and it fit.  Easily!

It was all I could do not to yell “YES!!!” at the top of my lungs, but I didn’t want to run the risk of someone I know seeing me exit the stall with a huge smile on my face.  That’d be a quick way to flood the office with constipation rumors.  I did a little happy dance in the stall before I hide the extension in my palm and left with my head held high.

Every once in a while during the course of the day I would reach into my purse and run my fingers over that little piece of nylon-lycra…and I would smile.  What an amazing feeling to be free of that damn thing.  Amazing.

This may seem silly to some, but it’s a pretty big deal to me.  I hated having to use an extension on my bra.  Removing it was just as big of a deal to me as fitting into those jeans two weeks ago.  Another little victory in the battle of the butt.  These little victories are adding up.

Other recent non-scale victories:  when I look down at my feet now, I only see boobs.  It used to be boobs…and then stomach.  Now it’s just the boobs.  I won’t see my feet for a while.  I also have a pair of pants that are so baggy I can pull the waistband up to my chest like an 80 year old man.  Not that I want to walk around like that or anything, but I could if I wanted to.  I can also take them off without unzipping them.  These are the same pants that left a red welt on my waist in December.  Sweet!

Even though I hated the bra extension with a passion, I found myself thinking of it with a  kind of gratitude.  No matter what, the extension kept me from having to order my bras from some specialty catalog that also makes tents & awning covers.  I was happy not to need it anymore, but when I thought of just unceremoniously tossing it in the trash, I thought to myself….no.  No.  Homage must be paid.

I’ll be donating the bra extensions to a women’s shelter along with all my size 32 clothes…but the one extension I took off today will be staying with me.  It’s a souvenir.  It’s a trophy of war.  It’s going in the Hot Mess Hall of Fame.

Don’t worry, I’m not going to keep it in the living room next to the family pictures. What a conversation piece it would be, though! No, the extension is going on my trophy wall…right over the treadmill.

With 185 pounds left to lose out of 219 total, I am on a very long road.  I have never enjoyed the journey like I am right now.  Time and time again, yo-yo diet after yo-yo diet, I have won little victories like this and just blew right past them.  I have not shown respect for the smaller victories that will eventually make up my ultimate victory: hitting my goal weight.  What is it they say about the definition of idiocy?  It’s doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.  Well, if I allow myself to blow right past these non-scale victories just like all those other times I’ll just be doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result.

I’m also, as regular readers of this blog know, a true believer in having FUN through this process.  And it was in the spirit of fun that I imagined mounting this sucker on my trophy wall like the head of a ferocious beast I killed myself.  Victory is mine.  And, because I was in the mood and feeling quite sassy today, I wrote a poem in homage to my bra extension.

Let’s all bow our heads in respect and reverence:

Oh little scrap of nylon-lycra,
Thank you for your sacrifice
You stretched my bra, you held me up
Your support was oh-so-nice

But now I am a smaller girl
The time has come, you see
For me to hang you on the wall
My first symbol of victory!

A place of honor you will have
For you have toiled so much
It was no small feat you had, dear friend
To hold up Starsky & Hutch

Rest in peace, my friend.  You served me well.

20 thoughts on “Standing Triumphant On the Field of Non-Scale Victory!

  1. woohooo!!!!   That’s fantastic, you are inspiring (my husband was looking at me strangely while I was sitting here laughing and saying “YES, way to go!” to the computer…haha
    You really are doing an amazing job.  I know I don’t know you, but I am very proud of you!!

  2. Hi! I recently found your blog (not even sure where to be honest), and I don’t normally comment on blogs of people I don’t know personally, but I had to tell you.  This post had me grinning from EAR TO EAR!  I also may have teared up a little bit.  You are truly an inspiration to me, my mother, and my sister as we all start trying to lose different (but significant in many ways to each of us) amounts of weight.  You just made me so excited to be able to fit into my “halfway” skirt!

    It really is important to celebrate not just the numbers on the scale, but every victory we get as we change our lifestyles.  WAY TO GO!!!!!  (and THANK YOU!)

    1. Thanks so much for the high praise, Shirin!!  I’m glad you found me.  🙂

  3. Congrats!!!!! I know that it must have been an amazingly PROUD feeling!! I feel you’re happiness through the computer!! You’re drive and motivation are an inspiration! When I’m having a bad day and feeling ready to give up, I often come and read your blog and it perks me up!!! It’s the little feats along the journey that keep you going!!! I can’t wait to hear about the next victory! Whether it be scale or a NSV!!!!

  4. Your blog should be required reading for everyone that’s trying to lose weight. Congrats and thanks for a good laugh this morning.

  5. Awesome!!!  What an amazing accomplishment… To any woman.. especially of us whos been there.. that is a HUGE accomplishment!  The whole framing the extention… I scrolled down my screen and busted out laughing!  I wouldnt take that out of that frame anytime soon.. What a great way to remember your hard work when ur walking the miles on your treadmill.  keep up those VICTORY’S at the scale!  Weight to go.. You inspire me EVERY DAY!!! 

    1. Thanks Shannon!  LOL   I made a special trip to the store last night to get a frame…I was not going to put off immortalizing this thing.  LOL

  6. Congratulations on your NSV! I cannot tell you how much this post has inspired me. I am very focused on the scale and the number but your words reminded me to acknowlege and rejoice in the NSV’s I’ve had recently. Those victories are driving me to keep going. Thank you!

  7. This is simply awesome. And I’d totally keep the bra extender frame in the front room with the other “important” photos. Anyone who’d be offended clearly is in the wrong house. 😉

  8. Congratulations! I found myself laughing while reading your post. I sympathize with your struggle and will be following your progress. Keep up the good work!

  9. God I can only imagine how much you wanted to run through the halls screaming, holding that bra extender! I’m so proud of you! Sometimes it truly is the little things. Can’t wait to not only read more of your stories but also, follow along with you. As a big girl also losing weight, I’m right there in the fight. Great blog and again, Congrats!

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