Well, first…I can’t believe it’s been so long since I posted on this blog. It’s amazing to me how time gets closer and closer together the older we get. If that makes any sense. It feels like maybe four months since I wrote here. I see that it’s longer.
I’ve been doing a lot of thinking lately, and it all stems from something that took hold in my head last year: the desire to beat my insomnia with something other than a pill. My quest for normal sleep has led me to a lot of places, but it first led me back to therapy. We all have that little voice inside of us…that gut instinct, intuition, or whatever you want to call it that rises up and just knows what is the right way and what is the wrong way. My voice led me right to my therapist.
I’m a strong believer in reaching out for help when you need it. I’ve seen many therapists in my lifetime, but I still had the phone number for the last one…and I like her a lot, so I picked up the phone. If you’ve never been to a therapist before, it feels like it takes forever at the start because you spend the first several sessions explaining why you’re there and what you’ve been dealing with. It was nice not to have to go through my own ancient history again. All I had to do was explain that I wanted to work on curing my insomnia without sleep medication.
I made huge progress in only our second session together. Through the questions she asked and the answers I gave, I finally realized where my insomnia is coming from. Believe it or not, I’ve never been able to pinpoint the WHY behind it all…until now. I realized that my insomnia is deeply rooted in fear, and that I…somewhere inside…do not feel safe. I haven’t felt safe in quite a long time, actually.
I won’t go into great detail here, but I can share that shortly after Hot Mess Hubby and I were married we moved to a new place together. I did not feel safe in this place. We didn’t realize the issue until we had moved in, and we could not afford to move. We lived there for nearly two years until we moved to Texas. It was more than enough time for me to learn to live with my ears open and my mind ready to react if I needed to. I started taking Tylenol PM to go to sleep…and the rest is history.
Now here I am, ready to fix it. Finally. Here’s the plan:
- Gradually reduce my sleep medication each week
- Continue with the meditation practices I started months ago (I totally thought I blogged about that!)
- Continue to learn about the body’s chakras
- Continue to learn about how energy from others and energy around me affects me…because it really does. Maybe not for everyone, but it’s definitely true for me!
- Eventually get to a place where I can try yoga. But I can’t right now.
Why? If you follow my Facebook fan page, you know that I’ve been traveling a lot lately and I’ve really put my body through the wringer. Mainly, I’ve torn the meniscus in my left knee. Additionally, I’ve been suffering from mega painful muscle spasms in my lower back and right leg…and I fainted in a restaurant last week. Seriously, it’s time to reel in the crazy just a bit. Jusssst a bit.
If you’ve taken yourself off sleep meds or have experience with anything I’ve mentioned here, feel free to weigh in. I’d love to hear about what you’ve done, what your tips and best practices are, and any tidbits of wisdom you have to share. Let’s hear it…because I need all the help I can get, and you’ll always be my tribe.
Sorry I took so long to check in.