Bloaty, Crampy, Queasy, and Painful

No, I’m not naming dwarfs in some awkwardly inappropriate remake of Snow White.  🙂

That little ray of sunshine, Mother Nature, has come for a visit…along with her friends:  Bloaty, Crampy,  Queasy, and Painful.  I’m going on 24 hours of gross.  I feel  hideous.

This little visit is particularly awful, so of course last night I was questioning my wisdom in committing to 6 days of exercise in a row without consulting the damn period tracking app on my phone.  I was curled up on the couch and couldn’t imagine even 3 minutes on the treadmill, seriously.

I don’t understand why on Earth we women have to suffer like this.  For me, periods are debilitating and disgusting.  I hate my period.  I want to give Mother Nature a high five.  In the face.  With a chair.

This sums it up nicely:


So I’ve got cramps keeping me curled up on the couch, but I hate feeling guilty.  I hate letting myself down (not to mention those of you who have been so awesome with support & calling me an inspiration, right?)  What kind of an inspiration sits on her four asses all night?  Not this girl!  So I stewed over it for a while and came up with a satisfactory solution:  resistance training.

Okay, actually, I did sit on my asses but I worked the hell out of my arms.  I was on the couch with my laptop beside me, pumping iron like I was training for a Mega Insanity Blogger Convention!  So that was my exercise last night.

Tonight I plan to get cranked up on about six ibuprofen and letting her rip on the treadmill.  Probably not for 30 minutes, honestly, because I’ve been home sick all day  and I have yet to stand up straight.  Ick.  I can’t look myself in the mirror if I do two nights in a row of resistance training on my arms, though, so something in my lower body region is going to have to move tonight.  I’ll update the Facebook fan page either way.

I spoke with my  possible surgeon’s office today.  Last August, I was so exasperated with myself that I consulted a bariatric surgeon.  Since then, I’ve had monthly phone appointments with his nutritionist, per my insurance company’s requirement.  Even though I’ve been doing great since my epiphany last month, I wanted to keep my options fully open – so I’ve continued with the nutritionist and had my last consultation today.

Although I was a little wary that he would try to steer me towards surgery no matter what I said, he didn’t.  We had a great conversation and the nutritionist was nothing but supportive.  I felt really great about the whole thing and I told him it was fine to have someone follow up with me in 30 days, but for now my orders were to STAND DOWN because Dianne’s got her mojo back, baby!  🙂

After today’s consultation, I could have named my surgery date right now.  I could have set that up today.  I didn’t.  The official decision is:  no lap band surgery for me right now…I want to take my mojo out for a spin and see how I do.  I feel like I can do this without the additional tool of surgery.  If I can do this myself, that’s what I want.

The entire conversation with the nutritionist was very motivating to me because I have a very clear picture in my mind of the phone ringing in 30 days and me saying “I’ve lost more weight and I’m working out a lot now…I think I’m ok without surgery – but you can follow up with me in 30 days!”

Oh dear, what if it becomes extremely motivating for me to keep stringing along the surgeon’s office?  LOL.  Is that mean?  I feel a little evil about it.  🙂  I actually believe, though, that once I get to a certain point I won’t need the “threat” of surgery to keep me motivated.  I know from experience that if I lose enough weight you could hold a platter of Ding Dongs under my nose while I’m having my “ladies days” and all I’ll do is laugh the diabolical laugh of a woman in complete control of her cravings.  Muahahahahaha!

In the next day or two, I’ll have a fun announcement to share with y’all.  🙂  I’m not giving away any secrets…but I think we’re all going to have a lot of fun and get a lot of motivation from it.  I will most likely announce it one Facebook and Twitter because I can make the big blog announcement, but I’ll get the word out!  Please stay tuned for that!!

For now, I’m going to slowly move in the direction of the treadmill.  I’ll pop some ibuprofen and see what I can do.  No promises, though – I may only be able to do 10 minutes.  But, as Kerri posted on my Facebook Fan Page today:


That’s what I plan to do.  A couple laps, then maybe I’ll make a Mother Nature voodoo doll out of maxi pads and tampons.  Bitch better watch out.

How’s everyone doing on their marble projects????  What’s going on in your worlds?  Please post and let me know…we’re all supporting each other!


28 thoughts on “Bloaty, Crampy, Queasy, and Painful

  1. Well, Mother Nature is visiting here too.  However, I did go walk 2 miles at the mall during lunch.  And no, I didn’t stop to buy anything, that was continuous movement 🙂

    1. Good job, Lauren!  🙂  I can’t walk in the mall…if I see a handbag or anything shiny, I’m toast.  LOL

  2. Wow, Mother Nature checking in here too! Hey, ANY movement is good movement. The important part is keeping the momentum we can do it!

    1. Thanks Allison  🙂  Now I have to talk myself into it again tonight.  LOL.  Blech!!!

  3. I am loving your blog. Your writing style reminds me a lot of the author Jen Lancaster, extremely funny & entertaining! You have motivated me to get off my butt tonight and on to my elliptical. Thanks!

  4. You’re awesome!! Even 10 minutes on the treadmill is great! You can do this without surgery, I know you can Dianne!! So can I..I’m right there with you. As for  Mother Nature..I’m sorry you have to suffer every month, I know how that can be.  But I have to brag because I don’t have to worry about that anymore…Yay!!! It’s wonderful! Even tho I had to go under the knife to kick Mother Nature in the butt and tell her to stay away…it was worth it…haha…but I still feel your pain 🙁  Feel better soon my friend.  One more thing..I guess I can’t make the marble project because I’m not stepping on the scale. Do you have any suggests how to do the marble project without knowing your weight and how much you lose? 

    1. Donna, you can too do this project!  Instead of glass marbles, get some river rocks…you know, those small-ish, flat rocks?  Get a fine point Sharpie in a contrasting color and write OTHER goals on them.  For example, “Walk for 15 minutes”, “Walk for 30 minutes”, “Walk for 45 minutes”…and “Drink 2 sodas a day” then “Drink 1 soda a day” and finally “QUIT SODA!”  

      C’mon, you can do that!

  5. Have you ever talked to your dr about endometriosis? I suffered from the time I got my period at age 13 until I was 41. Every month was pure torture. I could plan on it, and it never failed me. I went in for a laproscopy to check out a possible bad ovary because of the pain, after having an ultrasound, and I came out without any female parts. Horrible case of endometriosis. After years of taking ibuprofen, now I have an ulcer on my lower esophogus. Maybe you should go see a gyno and ask. BTW, the last 12 years uterus/everything free have been the best years of my life. I can live again! 

    Cheering you on in your weight loss . I have the same problem. 

    1. Hi Michelle –  Well, I’ve been to “get my oil checked” regularly and have never been told that, but…I’ll ask.  Of all doctor visits, I really hate that one the most.  LOL.  Congrats on the 12 years of freedom, though!  

      1. Endometriosis can only be diagnosed with a laproscope, I believe. It causes adhesions to your intestines. Google Endometriosis and see if anything sounds familiar. I complained for years of unbearable pain, was told to take ibuprofen ‘days before’ to get ahead of the pain, and when I FINALLY went in to see the surgeon for another test, he is the one who checked into a possible twisted ovary, and he found it. He said it looked like lots of ‘spider webbing’, and it all had to be removed. Good news though! When you have a hysterectomy….you never have to have any more of ‘those’ exams! yippee!!!

  6. I love your blog! I found you from Pinterest (can a Pinterest addiction overcome an addiction to food? lol) but have not made a marble project yet. I will be checking back every day to see what you have written. I have 50 pounds to lose and you are an inspiration!

    1. Hi Shirley!  Thank you so much for your support!!  Can wait to hear how your marble project goes…and I know you’re gonna kick those 50 lbs right in the butt!

  7. I found your marble pin on pinterest last night! Very inspiring. I’m going to work on getting my own marbles and jars. I’ll do that hopefully on Saturday.  Three whole days before I can. Really, well, only like two and a couple hours. Being down one vehicle kind of stinks but I’ll make the best of it! Been reading your blog a bit. I like it! 🙂 will continue to check up on it and let you know of my marble project. Also, liked your facebook page. 😀

    1. Amber, thank you so much for such great comments and the LIKE on Facebook…and such wonderful support.  Hubby and I live in constant fear of the 1 car dilemma.  Both our vehicles are on their last legs.  I feel your pain…or I may shortly, God forbid.  I can’t wait to hear about your jars!

  8. Every morning I check your blog! I continue to feel I can too do this without the lap band. I lost my mother nature moments 2 yrs ago and have no regrets. LOVE IT. Any movement is good – just keep your head up and keep looking forward.
    There is healthier slimmer people inside of us ready to unzip our fat suit and show the world we are beautiful. We are all behind u pushing….

  9. Every morning I check your blog! I continue to feel I can too do this without the lap band. I lost my mother nature moments 2 yrs ago and have no regrets. LOVE IT. Any movement is good – just keep your head up and keep looking forward.
    There is healthier slimmer people inside of us ready to unzip our fat suit and show the world we are beautiful. We are all behind u pushing…. In a good way

    1. Thanks, Amy!!  I am dreading the moving again tonight, but I’ll do it.  I have felt completely gross all damn day.  Blah!

  10. LOVE the marble project! I can’t wait until Sunday to move more marbles to Pounds Lost! Who knew losing weight could be so much fun!!

    1. Thanks, Jillian!  I know I’m just chomping at the bit for Mother Nature to pack up her bloating and cramps and get the hell out.  LOL.  I won’t be able to get on the scale till next week…but I’m looking forward to moving some marbles too!

  11. You go, girl!  Keep it up!  I dealt with that Bitch Mother Nature this week as well.  I’d kill for some buttered up popcorn & a coke right now! I admit that I did two days of nothing.  But this morning I made it thru some sweating on the elliptical.  (a kick ass play list keeps me going!)  You CAN do it!  And kudos on your nutrition coach as well.  It’s not about just moving more…we gotta be better at what we put IN as well.  And I personally LOVE your plan about stringing along the surgeon’s office!  TeeHee. 
    Sometimes the first steps are the hardest.  You are so headed in the right direction.  And your gumption keeps me motivated.  Let’s all lose our marbles together!!!! Bwahahahaha. 

    1. Oh, ZombieMom!  You gave me a great idea…I think I’m going to ask my readers to post their favorite workout songs on my Facebook fan page!!  I can’t really write a whole blog post about workout music (or at least I can’t think of enough to say about it!) but I love music and it really does keep me going on the treadmill.  

      Hopefully I won’t get a “cease and desist” letter from the surgeon’s office after the 3rd or 4th time.  LOL.  Yes, LET’S lose our marbles together!

  12. HI, been reading some of your blogs, I think I first got here cuz someone on SP was talking about Chia Seeds…..Anyway, loved the marbles idea… won’t it be great to say, “Ive lost all my marbles”.

    As for the green smoothie, that would be so incredibly expensive right now…. (in Canada anyway)… but we make green smoothies here every nite, even the eat them…. crushed ice, skim milk, 35 cal yogurt, 1/2 banana. 1 cup spinach, 1/2 cup pineapple chunks.. 1 tsp. chia seeds… Blend and enjoy– looks minty from the green, but just tastes refreshing… I didn’t know the secret was to let the chia sit for 20 min…  will have to try that…

    Good luck on your journey and I hope you lose all your marbles and me too.

    1. Thanks, Lila!  I’m going to have to try that one.  I have never seen Chia seeds out here but I’m betting I can find ’em.  Looking forward to losing our marbles together!!  🙂

Comments are closed.