Dancing with My Demons

Tomorrow is scale day.  I’m hoping to hit my goal of 349 tomorrow, but I woke up with a rapidly declining attitude and I’ve been trying to figure out why.  I think I know…

Although I’ve been kicking ass lately, there is still the matter of the week and a half when my exercise plan was on hold.  I had walked my last workout in the old shoes and the new ones had to be ordered.  I made a judgment call and decided not to work out, fearing a stress fracture if I did another 7 Days of Sanity – and while I don’t regret that decision, I’m starting to realize that I may regret it tomorrow when I step on the scale.

On top of that, I was rendered immobile by the 7 Dwarfs of the Apocalypse (by the way, I left them in California…do you think they’ll find their way back to Texas by next month?)  Overall, not a great workout month for the Hot Mess Princess.

I’ve long since learned the lesson that I’ll get out of this exactly what I put in it.  No matter how valid my reasoning was, I may not hit my goal tomorrow…and the perfectionist inside me is just seething about it.  This is ridiculous, of course, because I don’t even know if I’ve fallen short yet…but my attitude has been rapidly declining all morning.  My inner demons are getting too close to the surface and I don’t like it.

Two very specific demons are poking at me this morning:  Bitter & Pissy.  They’re a couple of real douche bags and I don’t need them dancing around in my head right now.  They’ve caused plenty of damage in the past when my attitude has been on the decline.  They love to send me headed straight for the Little Debbie’s.  Not happening today.  Today I win, they lose.

Every time I even get a whiff of a setback ahead, I’m so thankful for the fact that my inner Hot Mess Bad Ass comes out and clears the road ahead.  I remind myself of what happens if I give in to Bitter & Pissy:  negativity, unhealthy eating, lots of tears, and defeat.  HELL…NO.  I’ve been down that road, I know where it goes.  Not interested.

At the moment, the only thing I can think of that will battle Bitter & Pissy is music.  Music can lift my spirits faster than anything…except maybe winning that $540 million mega-millions jackpot tonight.  One thing at a time.

Right now I need to focus on getting rid of this nasty attitude, so here I sit with my ear buds firmly tucked in…listening to every “feel good” piece of music on my Amazon Cloud Player.  And it’s working.  I know you can’t see it, but I’ve busted out in a “chair boogie” several times already. 

I am focused on putting the brakes on Bitter & Pissy’s downward spiral.  I don’t care who walks by my desk and catches me move’in like Jagger in my chair, it’s worth it.  My attitude is on the upswing.  The only thing going down is the scale – and I’ll dance with my demons if that’s what it takes to get it done.

See y’all tomorrow.  Wish me luck.  🙂


Don’t let anyone dull your sparkle…especially not YOU.

4 thoughts on “Dancing with My Demons

  1. I don’t want to burst your bubble, but I’ve got dibs on that $540M jackpot! : >). Cindy

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