Portion Control Tool…?

Okay, this seemed really cool one night when I stayed up too long after taking Ambien.  🙂  I’ve made some interesting, medicated purchases before – including the time I bid on 52 different eBay auctions at 2 am.  I finally got the chance to use it this weekend and, once I had it in my hand and was actually using it…I felt a little embarrassed that I spent money on it.

This “portion control tool” popped up on Amazon on that little “Customers who bought this also bought THIS” box:

Meal Measure 1 Portion Control Tool

Hot Mess Hubby says I’m part raccoon…anything shiny will get my attention…and he’s right.  Just don’t tell him I said so.

The Meal Measure portion control tool is dinner plate sized and pre-measured – so you’re supposed to slap this bad boy on your empty plate, then fill the open spots with the corresponding food.  You can’t see it in the photo, but the bottom pocket is for protein and the others are labeled “fruit”, “veggie”, and “starch”.

Wow, what a neat idea, right?  Instead of messing around with kitchen scales and measuring cups, here’s one piece that does it all for you right on your plate!  Well, that’s what I thought – but there are many ways in which this device fails miserably.

What I didn’t think about during my Ambien stupor…before I hit that wonderful “Buy With 1-Click!” button on Amazon.com was…my grilled chipotle chicken tacos…or my spicy blackened turkey burger…or my beloved, almighty kickasserole.  I mean, I don’t see a taco shaped hole on this thing…do you?  Where does the tortilla go?  Starch, I suppose?  What about my kickasserole?  It contains proteins and starches…now what?  Do I pick out all the potatoes out and put them in the starch hole, the chicken in the protein hole…etc?

In my opinion, this gadget works best if you’re eating a stand alone protein, some kind of rice, a separate veggie, and fruit – but not for much more.  I know the serving size and calorie content of all my recipes…so an extra piece of plastic isn’t going to help me.

Just for shits & giggles, here’s a picture of how it stacks up against the blackened turkey burger & baked french fries I had for lunch today.


I know, right!  That whole grain bun looks ridiculous shoved into the starch hole.  And the bun is really a grain, not a starch – but there is no hole for grain.  Are we not supposed to eat grains in this scenario?  I didn’t have an apple to stick in the fruit hole either.  For my purposes, it just seems silly to me.  I prefer the old fashioned way:  my trusty kitchen scale and my measuring cups.

There were other portion control devices on Amazon.com including this one:

The Healthy Portion Plate

This plate seems like a much better investment for those who are trying to keep an eye on their portions.  I’m not going to buy this one either, don’t worry.  My Ambien shopping days are over.  For a while.  LOL

I’ll feel much better about my lame-o impulse purchase if any of you feel like you want to try it.  Really.  Let’s have a raffle.  I’m hoping at least one of y’all think it’s cool or useful in some way.  If you’re interested in winning this, please comment and say so.  The winner will be chosen by random drawing on random.com and posted on Monday night by 8 pm.

If there are no takers, I guess I’ll toss it or donate it.  So…who wants it?


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23 thoughts on “Portion Control Tool…?

  1. When your first starting out I think this will help a bunch, so if you dont want it I will take it. Anything to try to help me.

  2. It is kind of funny, i really don’t know how i could use it either….yesterday we had lasagne….it had loads of veggies, far more than would fit in that hole, cheese on top, should i peel that off ? and the lasagna sheets, which i kept to one layer 🙂 should i pull that out too….hahahahaha this is an awesome tool…..for working your ab muscles when laughing 🙂 hahahaha thanks hun, i needed that 🙂

    1. Hi Jacquie!  Thank you so much.  🙂  How’s life in Holland these days, girl!

    1. Not a bad idea, Carpiano!  I already have an herb garden, though, and I think I’d probably end up seeing Dyson with dirty paws…running around the backyard with this in his mouth.  LOL

  3. I’ve seen this portion control tool on Pinterest!  Wanted it but at the time couldn’t justify spending $20 on it….$20 will buy diapers for the babies too.  Hope it worked out for you?  

    1. Should I put you in the drawing, Emily?  You could win this fabulous thing!!  🙂

  4. I would LOVE to win this!! I have thought about buying it, but how cool would it be to win it!! YES!! Thank you for all you do, Hot Mess Princess!! ENTER ME in the drawing!

  5. lol… I do NOT need one of those – but just in case you’d like a cheaper alternative I use a kiddie divided-plate (they’re 2 for $1 at the dollar-store) for
    the same purpose!

    Because of my odd diet, I use the large section for
    grains/starches AND proteins, and the smaller two sections are fruit
    & veggies respectively. My son has an odd “food can’t touch” issue, so he’s happy because everything’s separated, and I use it for portion-control. DD likes to sit and ponder odd combinations of food to fill the sections, and my husband thinks we’re all nuts… but at least we’re all happy!

  6. Could the holes fit baby food jars? I cleaned and decorated some to hold small office supplies and doodads, and it could help keep them in one place so I don’t need to hunt for them in my desk drawers. 

  7. I would love it!!  I just LOVED your hubby’s plate.. before and AFTER!!  and I love reading your blog and FB updates… keep em coming!!

  8. Put me in for the raffle please, if im not to late 🙂 I think it would work great for me. Thanks Amy

  9. And the winner is….Emily Parson!  🙂  Emily, please message me with your mailing address either on my Facebook fan page or here on the blog.  Congrats!! For all my readers, stay tuned…I’m thinking of celebrating each milestone with a raffle.  This was pretty damn fun!

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