Plus Sized A-holes


Before I get started, I have a couple of housekeeping items to tell you about:

First, it pains me to let you know that Google Reader will cease to exist on July 1, 2013. If you currently read my blog through Google Reader, you will be sorely disappointed on July 2nd when you can no longer get to Google Reader. But have no fear, there are tons of replacement services popping up – just type “Google Reader alternative” into any search engine if you don’t believe me. I read many, many blogs via Google Reader so I’ve already done my homework…and I’ve decided on Feedly. It behaves a lot like Google Reader and automatically imported all the blogs I follow, so I’m grateful for that. (I don’t get any kickbacks from them or anything, by the way. I’m just sharing my personal choice with you.)

Next, there’s a rumor going around in the blogosphere that Google Feedburner will also be kicked to the curb this year…and that’s what I use for my email subscribers. If you subscribe to my blog via email, I will eventually be changing services – but this shouldn’t affect you other than perhaps the email looking slightly different. Stay tuned!

Lastly, how’s your 5K training going? Are you ready to join me in the Homemade 5K? Anyone else in the DFW area planning to join me for the Buffalo Boogie 5K in Fort Worth on May 11th? Don’t forget to register!!

Bad Ass Couch copy












My pride suffered a setback earlier in the week – and I’ll tell you how, but I refuse to name the establishment where it happened, as it would be too close to giving them free advertising and I’ve resolved never to shop there again. I had to buy clothes for work, as I was wearing the same five outfits to work every week and it was getting a little embarrassing…so I ventured out to the “We Disrespect Fat People” store to spend some of my hard earned money.

An hour later, I stepped up to the counter with one top, two t-shirts, and two pairs of shoes. I’d hoped to get more, but there wasn’t anything else available.

Sales-bitch: Didn’t you want to get another top? They’re buy one, get one half off right now.

Me: I’d love to, but that’s the only top you have in my size.

She looked at me for a minute as if she thought I could grunt real hard and drop a size right there in the store, but when I just stared back at her she tilted her head at me, stuck out her lower lip, and said “Awww, I’m sorry…I just don’t have room for the really big stuff in this store – but we carry this size online.”

I had to fight the urge to throat punch her right there in front of her employee.

Me: Gee, that’s great, but it’s kind of hard to try shit on when you’re shopping on the internet.

255-420323She rang me up without further insult, but her employee sensed the tension and started flipping through the returns rack and presenting me with every hideous top in my size she could find. I wanted to retort “Thanks, but I prefer not to dress like a member of the Golden Girls!”

I was nice. It was hard.

I stood there absolutely pissed off beyond belief and fighting the urge to ask the sales-bitch why a plus sized clothing store that made my size would choose not to carry it in the store. I mean, if you’re going to be like that why don’t you stop carrying the smallest size in the store instead? Size 14’s have a lot more options than Size 30’s. Better yet, just cut back on the size 30 thongs and jeggings and stock some shit I can actually wear.

This store has always been my first choice when I have to go clothes shopping, but this incident is the last straw. The first straw was the time I walked in there looking for workout pants and was told they only carry them in January.  “You know…because of resolutions,” the genius behind the counter tells me.

Yeah…because fat people don’t want to get in shape any other time of year, right? 

In a way, this is motivating to me to just work harder – but when I think of how many sizes I have to drop before I can shop in a regular store, that motivation goes away swiftly. I plan on writing their customer service people a super nice letter about my experience and let them know I’ll never spend another dime in their stores again…which means I’ll spend the rest of my fat days looking like a bloated, polyester covered tropical plant because the only brick & mortar store left is Catherine’s. Great.

Maybe I should learn how to sew. At this point, a bed sheet and a rope belt would be less humiliating than another trip to buy clothes.

Every time I think about it, I just close my eyes and imagine being at my goal weight and kicking that sales-bitch in the shins. Repeatedly.

18 thoughts on “Plus Sized A-holes

  1. Girl, I know exactly how you feel. I just had to tell a b*tch at MY favorite clothing store that I don’t want to wear polyester track suits because I’m not 80 when I was looking for capri length yoga pants. WTF? I commend you for your retort, as well as your strength in holding back that throat punch. I am so sorry you had to deal with that. Keep up your spirit, you will get there. You will get to the point where you can shop in any store you want and wear what everyone else is wearing. I’m waiting for that day too. I’ve lost about 30 pounds now, and don’t feel any difference in my clothes yet. I know what you mean about wearing the same 5 outfits at work each week…story of my life. Not only do they make fat chic clothes look like an inflated Golden Girl, they also cost TWICE AS MUCH too! Ridiculous! You are amazing, and I love your posts…keep it up you!

  2. Totally with you, Dianne. I’ve had to shop online lately and just send back what doesn’t work because none of the stores in my town carry anything acceptable above size 16, and I am not there yet, not even close. Keep up the good work, and ignore the snarky bitches. They don’t know how hard it is being US!

  3. I’m sorry this happened. Just remember that karma is a b****, and this person will eventually get what’s coming to them.

  4. Ummm…WHATABITCH. Seriously….!!!!!

    Sorry. People are jerks.

    You, however, are awesome! 🙂

  5. My husband always asks me why I have so many pairs of shoes when I only really wear one. It’s because you can try on shoes and ask for a larger size without someone judging you. I love clothes, but I HATE clothes shopping because I feel like even when I loose weight I end up going up a size (I’m wearing a pair of size 22 pants. went to the same store I got these at a month later and got the same thing in the same size and they’re too small and i’ve been loosing weight!) drives me crazy!

  6. Not knowing where you were shopping, I personally recommend Torrid. Sorry if that’s where you were. I’ve always had really great luck at Torrid, though. I buy pretty much all of my work clothes there, and the stores I go into have lots of different sizes. I am so thankful for this store, as I have had many a humiliating experience at normal stores. Hell, I just had one last weekend trying to find a bridesmaid dress in my size at David’s Bridal!

    1. Thanks, Abby! I’ve never heard of Torrid, so I’ll make note of that for the future. Unfortunately, they don’t carry size 30…but I’m almost there. 🙂

  7. I’m calling ’em out. Did the name ryhme with Shmold Cavey? They use to carry plus sized in their FTW store and I loved it! Capris that looked like the smaller sizes, cute tops, large size layering tops, it was awesome. Then one sad day I went in there and the Woman’s section was all teen boys!? WTF?? When I asked the girl at the counter where the Woman’s section was, she was ready with her prepared response: ‘We don’t carry them in store anymore but you can find everything we had here and more online! You can even find great sales online that we do not carry in the store!” sigh. This is code for: We Don’t Want Fat People Shopping In Our Stores And Making Us Look Bad. You’ll Drive The Skinny People Away If They Have To Shop Next To You.
    I even goodled ‘why did shmold cavey stop carrying large sizes in their store’ and bascially what I found is what I said above, just in a more politically correct way. I never went online to their great sales and I never shopped there again for me or anyone in my family.

    1. Hey, DFW!

      No, it sure didn’t…but that makes me a little sick to my stomach because there are TWO stores now. LOL. Crap.

  8. I know EXACTLY where you’re talking about! I went there this past Sunday to grab a new outfit for my birthday dinner Monday night and I got asked about the buy one get one half off top (told them no, because theres wasnt anything else in my size!!!) and I also saw your pressed ham shoes you talked about and thought of you lol! I frequent this establishment often as well, it’s my first choice. After trying on shirt after shirt after shirt and a dozen capris, I found a fit. I was happy with that particular outfit but wanted a few more items. I was very dissapointed when I asked if they had a particular green top that I loved in my size, 26/28 or 30 (just depends on the fit) since it was St. Patty’s Day that day and I thought I’d look cute. Sales Girl: “No, nothing in those sizes is out there now, we have some in the back but we’re not allowed to bring them out until closer to time to get rid of them faster.” Me: BLANK STARE. WHY? Why does this store want to torture us? I feel the same way as you, no 30’s but an ASS LOAD of 14’s all over the damn place! Or like the sales girl told me, “You can try online” or “Have you heard of Poshmark?, They have OUR size girl!” Um, yeah I’m HERE in THIS store and I’d like to leave with my merchandise NOW. Ridiculous!
    Old Navy is another frustrating one!! 30’s galore online…only up to 24 in the store!!! GRRRRR!!!

    Can we get a protest going?! Revolution!

    1. Allison, I’m in! In fact, I just told the hubby today I’m not shopping there again and I mean it! There is nothing they sell that I need that bad. Nothing!

  9. I hail to you all from the dark side — I wear a size 10 and can shop in regular stores but STILL shop online because of bitchy sales people. I don’t think the quota on rudeness is met until you’re a size 2 with a platinum card.

    1. Melanie, just because you’re a size 10 doesn’t mean you’re from the dark side girl! Much love to you!

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