Did you ever think I’d write a blog post about this? Me? The infamous insomniac? Well…don’t applaud just yet, but there’s hope on the horizon.
For the last nine years or so, insomnia and I have been in an unhealthy relationship. At first, I used Tylenol PM to make me sleep – but that stuff put me in a restless coma. After awhile, it didn’t work and I needed something stronger so my doctor prescribed Ambien.
I don’t sleep well for two main reasons. First, I hear everything. A flea could fart on my front porch and I would hear it. Second, my brain won’t shut up. I go to bed and try to relax, but thoughts stream unchecked through my head. Here’s an example:
I have to remember to throw my top in the dryer in the morning. Tomorrow’s Wednesday…why is it only Wednesday? Crap, I don’t want to go to work in the morning. Ugh…I need to clean the bathroom – it’s gross. I have to make sure I go to the gym on the way home. I don’t want to. I don’t care, I have to. I hate this. That chicken was really good I made for dinner. Did I hear Dyson getting into something out in the living room? No, he was just stretching and his toes hit the wall. I wonder if that thing I ordered will come tomorrow. That would be cool. I should have done dishes before I went to bed…crap. That squirrel I saw on the way home was so cute. I miss living in the country. I wish we could move.
You’re welcome for that brief, yet disturbing tour through my head. Over the past week or so, though, things are different.
I mentioned a few posts ago that I’m venturing back into fiction writing in addition to writing this blog…and the most amazing thing has happened: when I go to bed at night, I’m so tired of thinking about what I want to say and how I want to say it that my brain actually shuts the hell up. Between this blog and the stories I’m writing for Kindle, my brain apparently has enough to do. It’s a miracle!
Now, it’s not safe or smart to quit Ambien cold turkey (so my doctor says)…but I think I’ll see if I’m right about this. So tonight, when I would normally be tucking myself into mandatory sleep, I’m staying up…writing. Writing this blog. Writing fiction. Letting my brain wear itself out for once.
6 thoughts on “Quitting Ambien. Maybe.”
Great job! Glad to hear it. Hope this works in the long term for you. I’m very excited for you that you are really writing again!
It seems that you needed another outlet for your thoughts to pour out of and I’m glad that you have found one. I hope that you slipped off to sleep after posting this 🙂
Yoga and Meditation work very well and are much cheaper then Ambien.
Ambien is the Devil. If you can get off of it get off of it!!
I hear ya! I have to wear earplugs to sleep because a flea fart will wake me up too. Or a fly sneezing. I still have issues with my brain not shutting up, though. I think writing will help!
Sleep is not usually my friend either, but I blame the years of working night shift and taking all the sleepy time medications known to man during that time (none of which work on me anymore.)
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