Patience for This Patient Please

Hey y’all –

I’m working on a blog post but it’s taking longer than I thought.

Here’s the quick and dirty:

Since my last blog post, I’ve gone through the pre-op full liquid diet, the pre-surgery clear liquid diet, the pre-op lab appointment, and the surgery itself. I was in the hospital overnight, suffered through a miserable lab test and was released to go home.

I’ve been home recovering since Wednesday and it hasn’t been easy. There’s a lot to say, but I have to find the words and way to say it – and right now, I’m not getting enough nutrition to figure out what those are. The clear liquid diet after surgery is a shocker to me. It’s better that I’m not hungry, but I’m also trying to recover from a major shock to my body while only ingesting about 100 calories a day.

I have five incisions across my abdomen ranging from tiny to just under 2 inches in length. I have bruising all around the incisions, which is normal. They’re sealed with skin glue. My abdominal area is very swollen – to the point that I don’t think some of my pants would fit me right now. Thank God I’m walking around the house in my fabulous sweat pants, right?

To add insult to injury, the 7 Dwarfs of the Menstrual Apocalypse showed up today.

TMI ALERT!!! Don’t read this next paragraph if you don’t have a strong stomach.

I have developed unpredictable projectile nuclear diarrhea. You’re welcome. Imagine the horror when I realized I was too sore to turn far enough to clean myself up. Turns out, though, half of a pain pill is enough to get me through it. No need to call HMH for help and ruin the remaining mystery in our relationship. 🙂

I’m also dehydrated, but my sleeve prevents me from drinking anything rapidly. As a result, I have to take tiny sips all day long – which is weird as hell to get used to. I alternate between regular water and vitamin water zero, which has electrolytes in it and is recommended by my nutritionist.

Glamorous, yes? Not really. Believe it or not, there’s much more to relay to you…but right now that half of a pain pill is demanding that I close my eyes for a little while. I feel completely out of sorts, but I haven’t quite hit that moment when I wail to myself “What the fuck did I just do???”

That moment may be coming but so far I’ve tried my best to stay strong and handle all of this.

I’ll be back soon.

4 thoughts on “Patience for This Patient Please

  1. Oh My! You poor dear! I just received the call from the surgeon’s office that I was approved *chews nails nervously* Any tips that you can share will be greatly appreciated. I’ve been making a list of things I may need and never thought adult diapers would be on that list! yikes! Hang in there Princess! To boost your spirits you could try belting out a verse of Queen’s “We are the Champions” and replace “we” with “I” 🙂

  2. Hey Lady! As far as your dehydration and sipping: when I had a hoooorrible stomach bug a couple years ago my doc told me to take a small sip of water every 15 mins al throughout the day and it did help so you are on the right track with the sips. Also when you drink your regular water take just a pinch of salt and add it in (you won’t taste it) – it will help your body absorb the water better. If you can taste it you’ve put way too much. You may know this already, but let’s just say the Boy Scout I’m married to would have passed it along if I hadn’t lol

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