This Is What Effing Awesome Looks Like


I know, I know, I know…if you’ve never been a super fatty you’re probably not going to understand this at all. But if you are or have been a super fatty or if you’re just super awesomely empathetic, you get this. And I love you for it.

Just a few short months ago, putting my shoes on meant sitting on the couch and propping my leg up on the cushion in order to be able to reach my foot. I couldn’t change my shoes at work…ever. I couldn’t lean over far enough to reach my feet because there was too much me in the way.

Now it’s 3 1/2 months later and I’ve lost 61 pounds…and being able to reach my damn feet is just the latest in a fabulous chain of awesome NSV’s (that’s Non-Scale Victories to those of you not in-the-know). If you’ve just stumbled across my blog recently, here are some of the highlights over the past 3 1/2 months:

Fitting into my blue jeans again!

No more blood pressure meds!

No more migraines!

Being able to trust my farts again (click here to see why that’s important…if you dare!)

Moving past the 45 pound demon!

Dropping my first size!

Losing 50 pounds!

By the way, as a special treat for hitting the 50 pounds lost mark I decided to celebrate by getting myself a little something special: a silver Pandora bracelet and charm. I love the idea of celebrating my milestones by adding charms to my bracelet…and I chose a cute little mirror as my first charm. Why?

Because the mirror isn’t such a scary thing anymore.


Just to add a little visual impact, here’s a picture of 383 pound me at a work function last November. To protect the dignity and identity of the Vice President I was posing with, I’ve cleverly disguised him as Robert Downey Jr.

You’re welcome.

I’ve come a long way…and I’m really quite proud of myself. After over 20 years of struggling with my weight and food issues, I’m so grateful that I finally had the courage to change and embrace the wonderful tool that gastric sleeve surgery is. It’s such a lot of work, but it’s such an amazing tool if you’re really ready for it. You can’t sit back and let the surgery do the work for you or you’re not going to learn anything and you’re going to end up gaining it all back. I’m proud to say that I started making dramatic, permanent changes to my life long before they wheeled me into that operating room.

My life is so wonderfully different than it was before surgery. I’ve given up fast food, sugar, and diet soda. I no longer obsess over calories, fat, and carbs. My life is all about protein and eating healthy. I drink water. And I exercise. This is work, but it’s wonderful work. It’s life changing…and I’m really quite proud of the bad-ass I’m becoming.

Sure, I still have a long way to go. I’ve lost 61 pounds but I was more than 200 pounds overweight when I started this. Thanks to gastric sleeve surgery, I know for the first time in my Hot Mess life that I’ll get there. This tool simply eliminates my ability to screw myself up by overeating. That’s all it does. It’s not a magic pill or a miracle cure. It doesn’t make me magically not want cookies or french fries. It doesn’t make me allergic to fatty, unhealthy foods. I can eat anything I want to…if I want to. But I don’t. Because once I made the decision to have surgery, I started to grow up. (And really…once you put yourself through that whole surgery ordeal you’ve got to be bat-shit cray to chase it down with french fries and ice cream, right?)

I’m learning to make peace with food. I’m following the advice of my awesome surgeon and my fabulous nutritionist: if I really want something, I have it. A taste of it. I eat my protein first and then I really only have room for a couple of bites of whatever it is. A couple french fries. Two bites of cake. A cookie. Those things aren’t harmful if you just have a bite or two every once in a while. Hell, even Jennifer Aniston eats cookies. See? I eat just like Jennifer Aniston. I freak’in rock.


I’m not the only one either. I know you’re effing awesome too…so tell me how by leaving a comment. I’m all ears. And a lot of butt still.

Because some things take more time than others.


Sterling Silver Princess Crown Ring

12 thoughts on “This Is What Effing Awesome Looks Like

  1. I am so proud of you my friend. You are the most amazing woman and I am so glad to see the sparkle getting brighter in your eyes as you get closer and closer to your goal!! You are a great inspiration to me.

  2. NSVs can be such an eye opener. I’m so proud this is really happening for you!!

  3. You absolutely rock! As a big girl myself, I know exactly how it feels to have too much of me in the way when I want to do something. Hitting these milestones must feel fantastic 🙂

    I am so happy that you found the strength to take this incredible journey

  4. I am so proud of you. Keep up the great work. I too was once a fatty. I had my gastric sleeve done July 30th 2013. I am down 88 lbs. I went from a 24 pants size toa 12. I have so much energy, and feel comfortable in my own skin. Oh and i too have a cookie every now and then.

    1. That’s amazing and congratulations, Misty!!! So happy to hear from another success story. 🙂

  5. I came across your blog on my Facebook newsfeed and I though it was a sign. I was approved for weight loss surgery today! My first appointment is April 8. I am terrified but your words give me hope. I pray that I will meet my challenges with grace and humor. Thank you for being just what I needed today 🙂

    1. Susan, that’s wonderful! It is truly a scary prospect…I totally understand. I was scared too – right up till they knocked me out in the operating room. 🙂 I’ll tell you what, though: it was definitely the right decision for me and I’m grateful every day. You’re going to kick this right in the booty! Please feel free to reach out to me if you have questions…I can’t give medical advice, but I can tell you about my experience. ♥

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