Category Archives: Get Real!

Catalog of Horrors: The Sequel

I mentioned the other day on my Facebook fan page that I got another plus sized clothing catalog in the mail.  I have a bit of a chip on my shoulder when it comes to one retailer in particular.  Their clothes are the worst quality…and they have a habit of using slim models to try and make plus sized clothes more appealing.

I really want to slap the bejesus out of whoever sets up this catalog.  The sales pitchy verbiage is condescending on its own – but then when you add the slim & trim models into the mix, well…they’re basically saying “Hey, fat girl!  Doesn’t this hideously ugly outfit with the giant strawberry embroidered on the front look absolutely red carpet ready?  Jennifer Anniston wore one just like it last week when she was in Mexico on vacation!  In fact, here she is modeling our stretch pants with reinforced cotton panels.  Isn’t she HOT?

I am not so weak minded that a sales pitch and a skinny model can convince me to buy leggings and expect that my legs will look like the model’s.  No.  Every time I see this catalog in my mailbox, my blood boils just a little bit.  But I always have to open it…because, in some sick way, it makes me laugh.  I start wondering what the hell the photographer says to these poor skinny girls as they frolic to and fro while wearing the shapeless crap that we chubby girls have to wear.

I picture a beach…a sexy photographer named Enrique is snapping photos of our models…let’s listen in:

Enrique:  “That’s right, Kayla…that’s right…so beautiful!  Bend over a little, baby…come on.  Kayla, bend over a little.  KAYLA, can you hear me-”

“Enrique?” the photographer’s assistant butts in.  “It’s the mu-mu…she could be clog dancing under that thing and we wouldn’t have any idea…”

Poor Enrique…he has to try and dress these hotties up like chubbies.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Let’s move into what they call…the Comfort Lounge…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

And then there’s poor Kelly, the model who’s career is obviously slipping…

 

Poor thing.

 

Nice!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Okay, perhaps I’m a little too harsh on these people…I’m sure there are some 5X girls who love leggings and want to wear them. And as much as I don’t understand that, I support their right to wear it. And some of the clothes in these catalogs are actually passable for cute – that is until you wash it for the first time and it comes out looking like a 10 year could barely squeeze into it.

Seriously the clothes I have from this catalog have shrunk so bad that they’re now my “post shower outfit”. I don’t have a bathrobe – so when I get out of the shower and dry off, I put on the tunic I bought from this catalog. It’s still wide enough to fit me, but the bottom just barely covers my stomach and it balloons out at the bottom. Weird. Then I slip on the pants. Yeah, they were supposed to be just regular pants, but now they’re capris. Quality clothing.  So that’s my post-shower outfit.  I look like an extra from The Hobbit movie.  Meet me at the Party Tree for tea and cakes!

I’m frustrated this week.  We all go through this once in a while.  I just woke up and had the realization “22 lbs?  That’s all??  Wow…that isn’t very much.  I suck!!”  It’s been nagging at me for a few days, but the thing is – even in the really hard times when I’m tempted to throw in the towel, I can’t.  I literally can’t.  Because I remember all the times I threw in the towel before…and what that did…and how it made me feel.  I can’t do it.  I have to push through it, even if I’m in a pissy mood for a while.

So this catalog hit me at just the right time, don’t you think?  LOL

I have faith that the scale will move and that my somewhat sour-puss mood will perk up.  But just for tonight I needed to whine and complain…and the Catalog of Horrors allowed me to do so.  Now wear are my forever lazy jeggings?  It’s time for bed.  🙂

Nite y’all!


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