Category Archives: Milestones

Looking Forward, Milestones, Starsky and Hutch

Yesterday was fun. I raffled off the Meal Measure portion control tool after having tested it and determined it’s not extremely helpful in the Hot Mess household. But there were plenty of you who did think you could use it and I was very happy to raffle it off to a good home where it will be used and loved appropriately. Congratulations, Emily!

The raffle got me to thinking, though: what a great way to have fun! I’ve always loved raffles. There’s nothing like the excitement of winning something, is there? Who doesn’t love winning stuff! I think this is the perfect way to celebrate my weight loss milestones with everyone who reads my blog and supports me.  Here are the milestones that are victories along the way to my goal weight:

331 lbs – Vindication! I lost 50 lbs in 2010, only to get cocky and “take a break” for my nephew’s wedding. I completely derailed myself and gained all 50 lbs back. Hitting 331 will exorcise that demon for good!

299 lbs – Holy crap! I’ll be in the 200’s. I will completely say goodbye to the 300’s forever. I will have lost 82 lbs at this point. I’d say hitting 299 on the scale is worthy of quite a celebration!

281 lbs – I will have lost 100 lbs! Go me!!!

265 lbs – This is what I weighed when I met my husband. Enough said, right?

225 lbs – A long time ago, I went from my (then) top weight of 295 pounds to 225 pounds. It was an amazing achievement, even if I lost it in a very unhealthy way. I hit a wall at 225 lbs and couldn’t lose another pound. I also started dating again and it didn’t take long for my fragile self-confidence to be shaken away. I gave up and started eating again and before I knew it….301 lbs. Seeing 225 on the scale will exorcise this mental demon and really give me something to smile about.

199 lbs – Today, at 354 lbs this seems like a dream. I can’t think about it for too long or I’ll get discouraged. Clearly, being in the 100’s will be an amazing victory for me. I haven’t been there since I was 20 years old. We’re going to have to seriously party for this one.

181 lbs – OMG, I will have lost 200 lbs! Freak’in AWESOME!!

155 lbs – GOAL WEIGHT! Let me just say that it’s been a long time since I’ve been under 200 lbs…so if I look absolutely fabulous at 165 lbs or…whatever weight, I will adjust my goal weight accordingly. It’s not about the final number for me, it’s about being healthy and looking great at the end of all this.

Eight milestones. When I look back on this list, it makes me smile. I feel excited…and a little scared. Mostly excited. After 3 months, I still feel like my head is in the right place and my feet are firmly on the right path. I feel good.

I may decide to add in some NSV’s (Non Scale Victories) at some point. For example, dropping a size or finally leaving the glamorous world of elastic waists behind me. Those things should be celebrated as well, don’t you think?

For now, the scale is holding firmly at 354 and that is actually a very good thing. Why? Because the 7 Dwarfs of the Apocalypse are very close -in fact, Bloaty has already come for his visit…the little bastard.

COURTESY WARNING FOR MY MALE READERS: Read at your own risk from this point forward. There’s girl talk come’in!

Bloaty the evil dwarf is here. Cranky arrived a few days ago. That means that Starsky & Hutch are hurt’in big time. I probably need to explain that one, don’t I?

Yeah, well…when I was a teenager it was cool to name your boobies. It never occurred to me to name them after GIRLS. Hello, Dianne? Anyone home??? No, I decided to name them after the two coolest, grooviest detectives in California: Starsky & Hutch. Shut up…I was just a kid.  Anyway, I told that story to the Hot Mess Hubby once and he hasn’t stopped teasing me since.

But I digress…Starsky & Hutch are hurt’in. You girls know what that means: I’m taking on water like a sponge. In fact, I’m not wearing my wedding ring today because my fingers are a little swollen. So if the scale says 354 and I’m holding water….muahahahaha!!! That sucker’s going down when the Dwarfs pack their bags next week, right? Right!

My goal is still 349 by the end of the month. 5 more pounds to go. I’ve got this!!  Every day that I’m motivated and focused is like a gift to me and you are all part of that.  You keep me honest and you keep me talking about it instead of eating over it.  Thank you!

What milestones and victories are you looking forward to in your own weight loss efforts?


Source: via Sarah on Pinterest

Super Blue Stuff OTC Pain Relief Cream

I See What You Did There…

I brought Mr. Scale back in the house after letting him stare at that table saw blade all day.  I didn’t realize that Mr. Scale wasn’t being uncooperative, he was just waiting for today.

Today is February 15th.   60 days ago, I gave up sugar, crap, and junk food.  Happy Anniversary to me!!

I got on the scale this morning and saw 359 staring back at me.  🙂

I did it!  I got there!!  (Happy dance!!!!)

I happily grabbed a marble and one of those little pink jewels and moved ’em over to the Pounds Lost jar.  Woohoo!

As I sit here on my couch, unable to wipe the smile off my face, I realize how crucial every decision is – because even though I wasn’t seriously tempted to hit Starbucks yesterday morning, I’ve been in that same position many times and I’ve chosen to throw my hands up in the air and give up.  If I had done that yesterday, I wouldn’t be looking at 359 on the scale this morning.  I would be looking at 361…which would only make me stop for donuts on the way to work “for my co-workers”…and eat 3 in the car before I got there.  That’s how the cycle gets started back up again.

So if I have anything to say today, it’s how much I realize the value of the PAUSE button.  🙂  When you feel yourself start reacting toward food, PAUSE.  It doesn’t mean you can’t have it….it just means you aren’t going to have it right now.

I have to go make my standard healthy breakfast this morning:  3 pieces of turkey bacon, 1 bowl of Special K Vanilla Almond with nonfat milk, and 1 cup fresh grapefruit.  It used to feel like such a drag to eat that when I really wanted to go through Starbucks or McDonald’s…but going on the Imaginary Lap Band journey really made me appreciate the healthy stuff like never before.



I hope y’all have a wonderful day today…and happy anniversary to me!  🙂

Happy Big, Bad Ass Anniversary to Me!

Hello, my butt battling brothers & sisters out there…today is a big day. 🙂 I have updates and I’m celebrating something big! It’s a good day at Hot Mess Central.

First, the updates: My friend Matt, who is by all accounts a web mastering evil genius, has made several updates to my site over the last several days. He made the site more user friendly and less spammer friendly.  Quite possibly, the most notable change is the row of social media buttons underneath each post. Do you see them down there? They look like this:

Thanks to Matt, whenever you’re reading my blog and you want to share a particular post or recipe, you can now share it on Facebook, Twitter, Delicious, Reddit, Digg, Google Buzz, StumbleUpon, and plain ol’ email. And, of course, you can follow me and share my posts on Pinterest and subscribe via email, RSS feed, and on Amazon Kindle.  Phew!  That was a lot of sharing to share!

I appreciate all the sharing you can do, too.  Since I was old enough to put #2 pencil to paper, I’ve wanted to be a writer.  I’ve always loved it.  It’s really who I am.  So the more you share my posts, the more help I have building an online platform that I can show editors and publishers and say “Hey, see this?  I actually have readers!”  Your support and comments are helping me reach the dream of hitting my goal weight, and your sharing of my posts will help me reach my goal of actually doing what I love someday.  🙂

Speaking of sharing, there are many times when I’ll babble slightly about something or post a link to a cool site, quote, or product – but it’s not really worthy of a whole blog post unto itself. I flick those up on my Facebook Fan Page and on Twitter…so come connect with me on Facebook and Twitter! You can do that in the nifty column on the right…just scroll down a bit.

That’s enough updates & housekeeping for awhile, I promise.

Now…for the celebration…

Do you know what today is, my friends? Today is January 15th, 2012. Today is 30 days of sugar free glory, peeps. That’s right! I gave up sugar 30 days ago today. Let’s all do the happy dance!!!

Like I’ve said before, other than the week of my “ladies days” I’ve had a pretty decent adjustment period.  Thank God I’m just slightly more stubborn than I am stupid, right?  Perseverance has been my friend.  Wisdom, not so much…at times.  For example, yesterday I went grocery shopping while I was hungry –  which isn’t a good idea no matter who you are…but it was an even bigger challenge for me.  I walked into the grocery store with my stomach growling, that’s how hungry I was.  Really not a smart thing to do.  I stayed strong through the bakery section, past the onion dip in the diary case, and completely avoided the frozen foods section.  I was standing in the checkout line, mentally patting myself on the back, when I noticed the chick in front of me tossing a box of Peanut Butter Captain Crunch on the counter next to a box of my favorite partially hydrogenated crackers, a pint of ice cream, and a couple boxes of goodies from that bitch Little Debbie.  Brutal!

Still, I stayed strong.  I nearly sprinted out of the store.  I just wanted to get home and grill up a turkey burger, but guess who was in my way?  The Girl Scouts were setting up their table.  Seriously?  The freak’in Girl Scouts?  Clearly, I was being tested.

I had to stop, of course.  I had to.  I was a Girl Scout.  I still have my pin and my needlework badge.  🙂  Don’t panic.  I didn’t knock any 8 year old cuties over in a mad dash for the do-si-do’s.  I donated a box of cookies to our soldiers overseas and backed away from the table.  With a quickness.

I’ve certainly had my share of temptations, don’t get me wrong.  The past 30 days have been a challenge.  Every once in a while my husband will hug me and tell me how proud of me he is…and he’ll ask me how I’m feeling and I’ll say I’m scared.  This is scary.  I’ve failed a million times before this.  30 days of good behavior is nothing to me.  I’ve been down this same road a million times and I’ve been in this same spot a million times.  I’m excited about my success, but I’m scared.

The thing that’s different this time is that, whenever I’m feeling scared, I feel myself tighten up and get tough…and I say to myself, “Every other time you’ve done this and got scared, you’ve given up and failed.  If you don’t want to fail, you have to push through it.  You can’t give up…because you already know what will happen if you do:  failure.  Never, never, never give up.”

I’m reminded of the pendant I bought myself when I lost 50 lbs in 2010.  “Never, never, never give up” is a quote from Winston Churchill during World War II.  I’d found a pendant with that inscription on it and bought it for myself back then.  It’s been in my jewelry box for a few months, but it’s back on my neck now.

I’m now 366 pounds.  The 350’s are near.  My next goal: 359 by Valentine’s Day.  I can see that number on the scale when I close my eyes.  I can picture it…I can feel it…I want it.  I will not give up.

Now, I may be feeling a little fear once in a while, but I’m also feeling very bad ass.  In fact, one of the things I asked Matt to do while he was upgrading this site was to create a stamp for me.  I wanted something that looks like a big rubber stamp that I can smack down on this blog in any situation that warrants it – and I think 30 days of freedom from sweets, fast food, and all other crap is definitely worthy of the first stamp.  So here I go, smack’in it down…I am a:

I know I’m not the only Hot Mess/Bad Ass hybrid out there, peeps, so don’t be surprised if you comment here and find yourself being “awarded” one of these as well.  The nice thing about a stamp like this is that I’ll never run out of ink.  🙂

If I’m going to kick the 360’s to the curb and see 359 on the scale by Valentine’s Day, I’m going to need all the help and support I can get…so I’m counting on y’all to post your asses off and help keep me focused.  I know several of you are fighting your own Battle of the Butt…with all my heart, I wish you the biggest and best success of your lives this year.

We can do it…and we will.  Let’s go!

Sweet Victory!

Where do I start this? How do I say this?? It’s 6:22 am here in the beautiful Lone Star State, I haven’t even had my caffeine yet, and I’m absolutely over the moon excited. Why?

Let’s review, shall we? Yeah, let’s do that!

10 days ago, I came clean about the God-awful number staring back at me from the scale: 378. After losing 50 lbs last year, I’d gained it all back except for 3 lousy pounds. Great. I’m sure some of you can understand the self-loathing that ensued afterwards.

I’d already given up sugar, thanks to one too many foodgasms at the hands of the coconut petit fours and butter toffee my mother-in-law had sent me for Christmas. I was in the process of giving up diet soda AND researching whether Lap Band surgery is an option I want to pursue. Next in line? Try out the pre-op and post-op diets that the surgeon gave me to use after a surgery date is set up…just to see if I can handle it.

Last Thursday, I went on Day 1 of the liquid pre-op diet I’ll have to go on if I decide to have surgery. (Click here for all the gory details.) I decided to postpone the migraine inducing experiment until after the holiday weekend – but I did realize a small victory: 1 pound lost.

Yesterday, I woke up with new determination. I had a healthy breakfast and then left the house to run a bunch of errands. I was gone for hours. I faced a ton of temptations. I was in the grocery store while they were baking french bread. Bastards. I was in Super Target and had to walk by Starbucks. Oh, sweet venti mocha…how I sometimes miss you…until I realize you go straight to my ass. But I digress…

I drove past many a drive-thru window. The scent of partially hydrogenated temptations filled the air. Honestly, I don’t know how I did it, but I resisted it all. Some other force was with me yesterday. My resolve wasn’t just coming from me…it was bigger than me. I love moments like this when I realize that I had many choices to fuck it all up and I didn’t. I was strong.

This morning I woke up, got on the scale, and do you know what I saw? 369.

I’m in the next set of tens!!

Remember that? Just 10 pounds at a time. And now I’m no longer in the 380’s…or the 370’s. I’m officially in the 360’s. Well, slap my ass and call me Judy!

Today, as I begin Day 2 of Princess Dianne’s Super Happy House Cleaning Fantastic Fun Time, I will not walk around the house doing my chores…I will effing PRANCE. I will prance my 369 lb ass off, baby. But before I start all that, I have a date with the treadmill. I think it’s time to dust the cobwebs off of my loyal friend. Poor thing just stands there all day, waiting for me to use it. I think today’s the day.

I’m no longer 3 pounds from my top weight ever. I’m 12 pounds away. I’m finally moving in the right direction.

Gee, 359 doesn’t seem that far away…does it? 🙂

Dear Sugar…

There’s no easy way to say this, so I’m just going to say it: I’m leaving you. It’s over.

It’s not you, it’s me.

I think I’ve finally grown up a little…because the cheap thrill of turning to you for comfort & solace is no longer enough for me. Sure, it’s fun for a while – but after a few hours, I’m left feeling sick to my stomach…like when I went on that blind date with Carl the copy boy.

I’m angry, too, for the way I’ve let you rule my life for so long. This is such an unhealthy relationship. One of us has to end it now or I’m not going to live through it. And you? You’ll go on as you always have: luring in more stressed & harried victims with that tasty looking facade you’re so good at showing off. Sorry, sweet cheeks, but good looks alone are not enough for me. Not anymore.

I can’t live with a one-sided relationship. You’ve had a hold on me for so long…and all it’s gotten me is a bad case of self loathing and 3 extra asses. Do you know how hard it is to lug all these asses around with me all day? I’ve had it. It’s just not worth it anymore.

I’d love to give you back all the “gifts” you’ve ever given me, but it turns out it’s not easy to give back the arm flab, cankles, and back fat you’ve bestowed upon me. You’re such a jerk. It’s too bad I don’t burn extra calories for kicking your ass to the curb, you loser.

Don’t bother begging me to stay because it’s not going to work. There’s nothing you can say that will change my mind. I’ve given you everything I have and it’s gotten me absolutely nowhere. So the next time I see you, please don’t even try it. You’re dead to me.

You’ve dimpled my thighs for the last time, you bastard!