Category Archives: The Plan that Can

Halloween: I got this

Hey, y’all!

This is going to be ninja quick.  Things are absolute cray-cray at work right now and I’m struggling just to keep up with everything once I get home. But my war on the holidays?  I got this.

Here’s the skinny on how I’ve been doing:  10 wall push-ups every other day, a couple trips on the treadmill, and I LOST A POUND!!!

I laugh in the face of fun-sized evil!!

We had trick-or-treat day at work yesterday.  One of my co-workers (a total sweetheart with, of course, not an ounce of fat on her) shared her giant bag of chocolate evil with me 5 minutes before the kids started showing up.  (See, I’d told her about my food issues.)  You know that old saying…give a girl a blog and she’ll never shut the hell up.

The children of my fellow employees at the giant mega corporation I work for are eff’in adorable.  I met Bat Girl, several Ninja Turtles (are they popular again? wtf??), Iron Man, and several other awesome critters.  I even met Hermoine Grainger.  The absolute best were the 1 year old twin boys dressed as 1960’s astronauts.  So cute!

I passed out the chocolate without ever being seriously tempted to eat it…even when little Neil Armstrong tried to pass me a Twix bar. I’ve been walking around with a little swagger ever since…until I got home from work tonight and found this on the kitchen counter:

That’s right: Hot Mess Hubby went shopping today. WTF!


















Right in the middle of my war against holiday temptation, Hot Mess Hubby brings magically delicious into my house. WTF!

To be fair, after I called him and berated him with my opinion for 10 minutes, he didn’t realize that this was such a temptation for me. So we’ve agreed to compromise because, apparently, this is what married couples do.  I told him I’d just put a note on the box to remind myself that no good can come from me eating a bowl of it…

Only a total douche could eat a bowl…and I am not a total douche.



















In it to win it, kids.

In it to win it.


Hey y’all!

I’m ready!  I am eff’in ready.  My goal isn’t just to get through Halloween…or even the holiday season…without over indulging.  My goal is to get to New Year’s Eve 15 pounds lighter than I am today.  I may be a Hot Mess…but I’m also a bit of a badass.  I can totally do this!











I may make some additional updates to my blog so that my status updates are all in one place for this project, but for right now I’m just going to blog them.  My weight tracker is on the top right corner of this page (on my blog’s home page if you’re reading this via email).  My starting weight is 338 pounds.  (If you’re new here, you should know that’s down 43 pounds from where I started…badass!)

As a little side project, I decided to see how many push-ups I can do.  If I stand about a foot and a half away from the wall and do them against the wall, I did 10 of them before I realized I wasn’t going to be able to lift my arms at work tomorrow if I continued.  I totally get all Rocky Balboa on myself when I have a goal, so I had to reign it in just a little bit.  Even now as I sit at the coffee table and write this on my laptop, my arms are feel’in it.

I’ve had a hella busy weekend and I didn’t get everything done that I needed, so I’ve had to make some sacrifices.  For example, my house is still a mess…but I’ve gotten everything done that I needed for this challenge.  Well, parts of the house are clean – but it’s like I cleaned with A.D.D. or something.  There isn’t one room that’s totally done.  There are pockets of clean and mess everywhere.  It’s kind of pissing me off that I can’t clone myself and get more done.

I blame the Hot Mess Hubby and the fur persons for my lack of organization this weekend, actually.  The Hubs, although very sweet & cuddly (and sometimes farty), was doing a lot of “C’mere babe!” this weekend.  “C’mere babe!” is Hot Mess Hubby code for cuddle up on the couch and watch 3 episodes of Burn Notice with me so I don’t have to feel guilty about all the cleaning you’re doing.  Yep.  I said that shit.

Kirby also has a way of getting us to do what she wants whether we want to or not.  If you haven’t had the pleasure of being owned by a Saint Bernard, I can tell you that they’re incredible dogs…but they can be very stubborn and quite insistent when they want something.  In Kirby’s case this weekend, she was miffed that I disappeared with Dyson on Saturday morning.  I took him to the vet…but she imagined we were off at the dog park, frolicking in the woods without her.  As a result, I spent a lot of the weekend with her giant head in my lap.  It’s best to just give in when she wants attention.  I can’t say no to her big brown eyes…look at this:

This photo was taken during an actual guilt trip in progress.















As if Kirby wasn’t enough, Caesar the cat made my daily chores hell today.  Little Mr. Crabby Tabby wouldn’t let me make the bed.  For some reason, he goes into crazy-ass mode when I start putting new sheets on the bed.  In fact, in comparing notes with the Hubs today we discovered that Caesar only pulls this shit for me.  I would be mad, but I think it’s his way of helping…because now I can make the Hubs change the bedding.  “What, babe?  I can’t do it…Caesar only freaks out for me.”

Seems legit.

Bring it, Momma!















So I did the best I could, but I still have laundry to do…and dishes to do…but it’s almost 9 pm and I’m all for kicking back with a good book for the rest of the night. This reminds me…

Upcoming project: my own meditation space. Won’t that be fun!

I’m an insomniac who can barely even get sleep on prescription sleep meds. As if that wasn’t bad enough, I’m having nightmares almost every night, so I’m not sleeping well. I’m thinking increased exercise and a nice quiet, comfy space to do some relaxation/meditation before bed might be just the thing. What do y’all think? Am I starting to sound too much like a hippy? What would you do if you were having sleep problems?

Upcoming recipe: caramel walnut apples.  A lighter (not tasteless diet grossness) version of a caramel apple.  I’m hoping to get that done by Saturday.

I’m looking forward to enjoying the fun part of Halloween and not letting the food demons control me.  Let’s have some fun, y’all!  What are your plans?