Category Archives: Weekly Recap

Wellness Wednesday…What?

Hey, y’all!

So I missed last Wednesday because, in true Hot Mess fashion, I started writing my blog post…then I got an idea…and then I spent the rest of the day overthinking about it. I know some of you can relate.

Today’s update is more of a “Hey, I’m alive and a bit sidetracked…” post.

I’m about a week and a half into weening myself off of sleep meds. It was a bit of a mental fight to get going on this one, to be honest. I don’t know why. I can say that when it came time to cut the first dose in half, I could feel myself beginning to panic at the mere thought of not being able to sleep. I really tried to bargain with myself about how this is just not the right time to do this. 2020 is awful. Covid. Quarantine. Stress. Not a great time. The fact that I was so emotionally resistant to trying this now made me want to push forward and handle it, not back away. So here I am after a week a half of a half of a dose…and I’m really rather proud of myself.

As for the rest, well…it’s been interesting. After taking some time off for myself, I attempted to tackle my joblessness like I handle assignments at work: attack them with organization, logic, and my larger than life can-do attitude. It turns out, though, that I am not reacting well to that tried and true method. In fact, my emotional side is just outright rebelling.

I decided to put it all on hold again and I retreated back into my pillow fort for a bit. I’m not giving up on any of it, but it became obvious to me fairly quickly that I wasn’t going to get through this the way I handle projects at work. I have a lot of emotion going on right now, most of it over the fact that I don’t have my job anymore…and my absolute worry and fear for the state of our world right now. It’s clear that I need to take a gentler path, and so that’s what I’m working on now.

To add injury to the insult of not being able to just barrel through this, I am back in a fracture boot again. I was really starting to enjoy my morning walks, but I didn’t take into account all of the barefoot walking I was doing around the house. While some of that is good, it’s not a great idea to walk around with no support for your feet when you’re still 100 pounds overweight. TOING!!! Something got tugged in my foot and I’m back in the boot for a few weeks. No more morning walks for now.

Finally…a reality check and an ah-hah moment.

I started off my wellness plans with a lot of focus on food. There was also some focus on moving more, but the main focus was getting my eating back on track. I’m not sure that’s the way I should go with this. When it comes down to it, I’ve already lost more than 130 pounds from nutritional changes. I’ve got that shit down. My real challenges come because I do everything in my power to avoid exercise – and so that is where I feel I should place my focus. Dig? I bet you do. Right now I have to let my foot heal, but when I come back from that I will focus more on moving more…and less on what I’m eating. That’s my reality check.

The ah-hah moment came just the other day when I was spending time in the rabbit hole that is Tik Tok. I’m swiping through videos and I land on one that had me all…WHOA! Basically, this therapist said that if you have some kind of negative behavior that you’re trying to work on you should picture it like a monster and give it a name. For example, I think this one person said her negative habit is called Brad…and he wears pastel shorts and is quite douchy. She made him a man because she would NEVER let a man tell her what to do, so this helps her. LOL.

I found it interesting because I do tend to regard my issues with overeating and exercise avoidance as some kind of personal defect that makes me less of a good person. I know that’s not correct, but I can’t help how I feel. So the idea that I treat these thoughts and behaviors as a monster that just happens to live with me helps me feel like I’m much more able to put this bitch in her place when she acts up. I don’t need to spend time blaming myself or asking why…I just step into protective mode and shove the monster away from me. I love this idea, but I have to think about it more and really take some time to explore it. And probably overthink about it, let’s be honest.

So that’s where I am with all of this…and I knew if I didn’t stop and give an update I’d be waiting another week to check in. I’m learning things about myself every day…and I hope you do too. Now please…if you’re out in the world, stay safe…keep your distance from others and wash your hands. Be kind to everyone – starting with yourself.

See you next week!

Weekly Recap!


I’m going to try doing a weekly recap on the blog and see how I like it – so welcome to the first one!

Angry Pussycat

If you follow me on Facebook, you know that HMH and I started our week by taking Sarah the kitty to the vet. Miss Sarah is a 17 year old tabby-in-charge. This little eight pound wonder rules our household with an very firm hand, err…paw. I’ve never seen a tiny little kitty boss around a 120 pound Saint Bernard and a 130 pound half-wit – but she does it with gusto. Naturally, it was a shocker for us to wake up Sunday morning to find her left eyelid closed and oozing…with a big lump underneath it.

The diagnosis: an abscessed tooth. After surgery (there went my designer handbag budget), meds, and lots of rest and extra TLC, I’m proud to report that “Sare Bear” is much better. Check out her amazing progress (and you probably shouldn’t eat anything while you’re looking at these – sorry. I should have mentioned that before the first reference to “oozing”.)

Day 1: After surgery. Cranky & hungry.
Day 1: After surgery. Cranky & hungry.

Kirby, the household nursemaid, keeps watch over Sarah as she rests
Kirby, the household nursemaid, keeps watch over Sarah as she rests in my new office. Yes, the disco pillow makes her feel better.

Day 3: Much less icky. Also less crabby and pretty much wants to eat everything in the house.
Day 3: Much less icky. Also less crabby and pretty much wants to eat everything in the house.

Day 6: Pretty much back to normal. She now believes my new office is her new hangout. #Entitled
Day 6: Pretty much back to normal. She now believes my new office is her new hangout. #Entitled


The Red Badge of Courage

Y’all know how much I lament the monthly visit from the 7 Dwarfs of the Menstrual Apocalypse. They rolled out of town this past week – and good riddance, at least for another 28 days. Dillholes. One of the things that makes all the cramping, bleeding, and whining bearable is finding little gems on the internet like this:

Click here for menstrual awesomeness

In other tampon-tastic news, one of my girlfriends sent me a text yesterday complaining that the 7 Dwarfs of the Menstrual Apocalypse showed up at her door. Since she’s a fellow Star Wars geek and I’d just moved my 100% awesome, interactive R2-D2 to my new home office, I decided to text her this picture to cheer her up.

The Force is strong with these tampons
The Force is strong with these tampons

Getting Serious

Had a pretty major epiphany this past week after talking to HMH about weight loss surgery and then finding a true source of motivation to exercise in the memory of a ten year old me.

The result is showing on the scale: I’m down 6 more pounds. Go me!

I was doing 30 minutes on the elliptical before the root canal from hell set me back. Right now, I’m at 12 minutes and trying to get back to that 30 minute mark. I have faith.

Near Death Experience

While trying to enter the building where I work, I was nearly killed by a cicada that was obviously trying to get me to piss my pants and scream like a little girl in front of my co-workers. Insects are such assholes.

My Summertime Guilty Pleasure

Big Brother: I cast all my votes to nominate Amanda as the third nominee up on the block this week. I’m not happy about Howard. “Demanda” has to pay!

We also established that HMP fan Ann is my official stalker/reminder that Big Brother is on. Without her posts on my Facebook fan page, I would never remember to leave the laptop and go watch. ♥

Free Dooney!

Dooney & Bourke is having an August giveaway on Facebook. Click here to enter. It’s not my kind of bag, but I hope you win!

(No, I haven’t been compensated by Dooney & Bourke in any way…I’m just that eff’in nice.)

Good Info

Many thanks to HMP fan Rhiannon for forwarding me this blog post about willpower and cognitive processing. I know, I know, I know…I just made that sound incredibly boring – but it’s not. It’s quite an interesting article. I don’t know about you, but it’s much easier for me to “behave” Monday thru Friday during work hours…and then when I get home, all hell threatens to break loose. This article presents an interesting theory as to why that is. Check out “Your App is Making Me Fat”.

My New Office

My new office is coming along. After weeks of dodging my pleas for help, I finally railroaded Hot Mess Hubby into painting the trim for me. I can do the baseboards, but our ladder has a warning sticker that says “Weight Limit: OH MY GAWD!” and I can’t get on it. Okay, that’s not really what it says – but you get my point. So just today, the painting is finally finished. Next step: hanging shit on the walls to break up all this blue.

It's coming along!
Not really a desk – this is the dining table I bought for my first apartment. I’m sentimentally attached to this baby. It represents such an exciting time of independence for me. I couldn’t part with it, so HMH refinished it for me and it’s now my desk. ♥

Moving in: just a few things that mean the world to me.
Moving in: just a few things that mean the world to me.

In the background, a picture of my parents and me at the Orange County Fair when I was still a wee one. My parents are young and happy…and I’m Daddy’s little girl. I love this picture.

The gold looking penis thing is actually a brass-plated bolt from the Golden Gate Bridge. I used to be absolutely petrified of bridges and then I visited San Francisco and decided to face my fear. I walked the entire bridge and bought this bolt in the gift shop. It’s a reminder that I am perfectly capable of doing things that scare the bejesus out of me.

The Viewmaster I got for my fourth birthday. Yep…still have it. One of my favorite toys ever.

Also pictured: a very snarky Happy Bunny sticker that I just love…and a couple of coasters from the tv show “Friends”.

This Thursday’s Blog Topic

Finally, no offense to Mama Kat’s Thursday blog meme, but  the choices for this Thursday are all pretty boring – so I’ve decided to let y’all suggest the topic. If you’re on Facebook, you can make your suggestion or “like” the suggestion of your choice here. If you’re not, feel free to post a comment here on the blog. Come back on Thursday to see which topic I choose!

That’s my week in a not-so-nutshell, peeps. Now it’s on to another week of food logg’in, gym go’in badassedry.

Let’s do this!

Star Wars: Darth Tater