Tag Archives: Jazz dance

How Do You Shake Your Moneymaker?

Hey, y’all –

First:  holy CRAP!  Got on the scale this morning, another 2 pounds gone.  GONE!!!  I’m already at 354 and sliding down the back side of this set of 10’s.  I won’t be able to get the smile off my face today.  Yay!!!!

Now…I am an absolute sucker for a good song.  And by “good” I don’t necessarily mean technically or musically brilliant…I mean something that makes me feel GOOD!  At the risk of showing you how monumentally UNcool I am, I can tell you that my list of feel-good songs includes Hanson’s “Mmm-Bop”.  Yes.  Yes, it does – and I just said that shit out loud.  Don’t judge!

I’m sure it’s a hangover from my days as a dancer, but nothing lifts my spirits like music does – and so I’m sure that’s why, after a day of waddling around in a fat body and sore Flintstone feet, I can come home and prance like a Pussycat Doll on my treadmill (sans trashy lingerie, of course, because chafing is a real bitch when your inner thighs are close personal friends).

I keep saying I’m working on a second, newer playlist for my iPod but here it is…7:30 pm on Sunday night and I have yet to do it.  I’ve laid out my current playlist for y’all below, but I doubt any of it is new to you – and some of it may give you a good giggle.  Yes, I really do have part of the Rocky IV soundtrack on my playlist.  I told you: monumentally uncool.

I would love to hear what you listen to when you’re working out.  I know I asked this on my Facebook fan page a while ago, but the problem with Facebook is that threads fade away over time.  At least here I can paste a link on the “Linky Links” page and we’ll always have a source for musical inspiration.  If you don’t like commenting on the posts themselves, feel free to shoot me an email and let me know what you listen to (that’s for all you lurkers out there! LOL).

** Safety reminder:  If you listen to music on an outdoor trail or roadway, PLEASE only use one ear bud – and remember to keep the volume down low enough so that you can hear what’s going on around you.  As much fun as it is to walk/run/bike/skate with music, it’s a serious safety hazard…and not worth injuring yourself or others.  Be safe!

Now…here is my ridiculous playlist:

Hey, Soul Sister
– Train  (my favorite band in the whole universe)

Right Round
– Flo Rida

How You Like Me Now
– The Heavy

Bad Romance (Glee Cast Version)
– Glee cast

Like A Prayer (Glee Cast Version Featuring Jonathan Groff)
– Glee cast

Ice Ice Baby (Glee Cast Version)
– Glee cast  (stop judging!)

Snake Eyes
– David Holmes (from the soundtrack of Ocean’s Thirteen)

Higher Ground
– Stevie Wonder

Barbie Girl
– Aqua

I’m Outta Love
– Anastasia

Rock N Roll Jesus (Explicit)
– Kid Rock

It’s My Life
– Bon Jovi (boy, does this one get me going!)

Training Montage
– Vin DiCola (from the Rocky IV soundtrack)

War/Fanfare From Rocky
– Vin DiCola (from the Rocky IV soundtrack)

Somewhere Only We Know
– Keane


What gets you motivated and moving?  Tell us!



My employer has a pretty cool program called “HealthMatters”.  Basically, employees earn a reduction on next year’s insurance deductible by doing certain healthy activities like taking preventive tests and quitting naughty behaviors like smoking, eating too much, and dating jerks.  Okay, I’m not sure about the jerk thing…but the rest is true.

Every two to three months, I get a call from my HealthMatters nurse, Monica.  Over the past year, she has endured assorted tales from me but there was nothing that could prepare poor Monica for the motivation train that has been plowing through the Hot Mess household lately.  We last spoke at the end of November – long before I fell back ON the wagon.  🙂

So Monica calls and asks me how I’ve been doing with my goal of quitting diet soda.  I proudly say “DONE!  Haven’t had one since Christmas day!!”

Monica congratulates me and then says “Okay, so the last time we talked you were considering lap band surgery and were going to be about ready to schedule a surgery date…how is that going?”

Poor Monica didn’t get a chance to say anything except the occasional “Oh my gosh!” for the next 15 minutes.  I told her about giving up sugar, about my imaginary lap band experiment, about the Motivation Marbles, and about getting back on the treadmill.  After every “Oh my gosh!” she offered, I countered with “I know, right!”  It was a good conversation.

I told her that I decided against having any kind of surgery – at least for the next 30 days – while I make sure my mojo is fully back.  She was quite proud of me.  I’m quite proud of me.

Two things that always trip me up, though, are getting too cocky too fast…and not working out on a consistent basis.  In all my previous attempts to get healthy, I’ve known this about myself and yet I’ve never done anything proactive to make sure it doesn’t trip me up again.  This is the first time I’ve ever actually thought “Oh yeah…I need to be sure I work out consistently and keep my focus” while I’m still motivated and doing well.  I may be the slowest learner on the planet.

I know that I will get bored and discouraged if I don’t keep this interesting, so I spent a little money on myself today.  I’ve had one of these before but I lost it somewhere in this house.  (Most likely Sarah the cat decided she didn’t like all that noise coming from the treadmill, so she batted it under a huge piece of furniture somewhere.)  At any rate, I’ve bought myself a second S2H Step pedometer.  Ever heard of these?

Basically, the pedometer counts your steps like any other pedometer does…but this one gives you a code after you take 10,000 steps.  You register online for a free account and log each code you get.  Each code is worth 60 points.  Rack up enough points and you can spend them on whatever prizes you want.  Prizes vary and availability varies, so you have to keep an eye on the website.  Last year, they offered a Nintendo Wii system for a while.

There are lots of prizes to chose from including discounts on spa weekend getaways, gift cards to stores like Walmart and Target, and music downloads.  If you’re a parent and you’re trying to get your kids to be more active, there are stickers and other kid things available as prizes.  If the pedometer won’t work for your kids, there’s also a wristband.  So…this was my first little splurge today:


Of course, I got mine in pink.  🙂

As much as I love walking, I’m afraid I’ll get bored if that’s all I do.  I would love to get an elliptical trainer, but like most families in this economy, we just can’t afford a purchase like that right now – and I hate gyms.  I like to exercise in privacy and solitude.  I also like to dance.  So…this weekend, I plan to shake it like a polaroid picture.  Check it out:

Dance on Broadway

I do have “The Michael Jackson Experience” for PS3, having four asses makes dancing like the King of Pop more frustrating than fun.  So little Michael will have to keep his moonwalk’in ass in the bottom of the perfectly matched decorator basket that holds our collection of PS3 games.  I’ll have to lose some pounds before I can convincingly grab my crotch and shriek “WooHOOOO!” in my living room.  Too much of a challenge for me right now!

Speaking of challenges, I passed the temptation test today.  I’ll give you the short version:  Office Party.  Cake.  Me. Bad Ass.  🙂  Didn’t eat any.  Wasn’t worth it.  WooHOOO!  (No, I’m not grabbing my crotch like Michael…promise.)

Another challenge tomorrow:  lunch with a couple of my girlfriends at my absolutely favorite restaurant.  Let’s just say that if you ask a server for nutritional information at this place, they smile and giggle.  LOL.  Here’s the deal, though:  my favorite entree is actually not bad at all because of the way I order it.  It’s basically a piece of heavenly seasoned, grilled chicken on a french roll.  Okay, sure…it’s served with fries.  But I don’t get an emotional high from french fries.  I do get a hell of a reaction from their cheesecake.  It’s almost like I need a cigarette when I’m done, ok?  (Except I don’t smoke…but you know what I mean.)

So tomorrow I’m going to my favorite restaurant with my friends.  I’m ordering my favorite chicken sammie and I’m eating the fries.  I am not drinking diet soda.  I am NOT ordering cheesecake.  I’ve already informed my girlfriends that I am perfectly fine if they order dessert – in fact, I would appreciate the opportunity to flex my mojo a little.  Bring it.

Abstaining from cheesecake but eating french fries may not make sense to some of you, but I’m reigning in my emotional reaction to food.  That’s what this is.  I can control the french fry monster.  I can’t control the cheesecake monster.  And I’ve just celebrated 30 days of being free of diet soda, which I’ve tried to do for years, so I definitely don’t want to break that record.

Thankfully, although Mother Nature is still visiting, the 7 dwarfs of the apocalypse are gone:  Bloaty, Crampy, Bitchy, Painful, Queasy, Achy, and Pissy.  I feel normal again.  I’m highly motivated to get moving again.  And I’m looking forward to losing a few marbles on Wednesday when I get on the scale.

Bring it.


Shock & Awe…and Jazzercise

True to my word, I took my first Jazzercise class yesterday.  High five!

Even with all the determination and courage I felt in my last post, I still had to fight off the Evil Fat Girl in my head – and the bitch got louder and louder as payday grew closer.  I had to fight off the primal urge to run to the corner and hide on more than one occasion this past week, but thankfully I remembered my new battle plan:  run full speed at whatever it is that I’m afraid of.  🙂

I beat down a dozen excuses that the Evil Fat Girl came up with and, before I knew it, Friday was here.  I rolled out of bed and signed up online before the Evil Fat Girl could talk me out of it.

Saturday morning came and nervous/anxious Dianne came with it.  I hate being the new kid.  I hide it well, but when I’m the designated noob with any group of people I’m mentally torturing myself with thoughts like “Oh my God, I’m the biggest person in the room”.  Sad, but true.

I sucked it up as best I could and introduced myself to the Jazzercise-y looking woman who was putting up “Jazzercise HERE!” signs outside the building.  She was very happy to see me and showed me around the facility.  I filled out the typical waiver forms while she set things up.  As my class mates filed in and put their gear down, something amazing happened:  they all started coming over and welcoming me.  What?  I…I…holy crap.  Nice people?  What a relief!!

This is where Jazzercise differs from your average aerobics class in an over-priced gym.  I’ve been to many aerobics classes in my day.  I’ve walked in, put my gear down, and busied myself with my cell phone or pretending to look for gum in my purse until the music started.  Never once was I greeted by anyone…including the instructor.  I have received countless sideways glances from perfectly coiffed, bouncy boobed aerobics bimbos who were clearly wondering what the hell I was doing in their aerobics class.  I wish I had a dollar for every one of those I’ve ever gotten.

Not so at Jazzercise.  I was sincerely and enthusiastically welcomed by several of my class mates.  In fact, I never even had time to be fake-busy with my cell phone or that fictitious pack of gum in my purse.

The music started and I turned on my heart rate monitor, silently praying “God, please don’t let me pass out on my first day…or fart loudly during the floor exercises.”  Hey, I’m just saying…when I’m nervous, I’ll trip over a hair on the carpet. Embarrassing things just happen to me.

During the floor exercises, I realized I’d forgotten my hand weights.  I didn’t say anything, I just followed along from my position in the back of the room.  One of my class mates offered to let me borrow her other hand weight.  Again, not something I’ve ever seen at any gym I’ve belonged to.  In fact, some of you will remember my last unpleasant gym experience.  I think my Jazzercise experience has proven to me once and for all that I don’t need to go to a gym to get back in shape.

When class was over, several class mates came to ask me how I liked the class and whether I would be back.  Yes, I assured them…I would be back for every class. Never once did I think I was the biggest person in the room.  It never occurred to me at all.

It was fun and the music was great.  It was just the right blend of dance and aerobics for me – and the icy cold washcloths they passed out halfway through class were sheer Heaven.  Heaven!!

My heart rate monitor showed an average of 164 beats per minute with a high of 184 beats per minute.  That’s quite awesome.  Actually, that’s bordering on ninja awesome.

I don’t know why I’m so shocked when I encounter nice people, but I am.  I’ve lived in Texas for 5 years, you’d think I’d be a little more used to it.  Growing up in California took its toll in some interesting ways, I guess.

I’m so glad I went.  I’m so glad I looked fear in the face and told it to piss off.  This was another important step in teaching myself that dancing again doesn’t mean I’ll ever have to go back to the life I had as a dancer.  Those days are gone for good…and I have the power to build much stronger, more positive memories now.

So…in closing, I’d like to ask what you’re doing for exercise.  Are you doing it…or are you just thinking about it?  Is there something keeping you from it?  My something is fear…fear of going back to the negative, manipulative environment I grew up in as a dancer.  What is it for you?  And what is your plan of attack?

I’m all ears…






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