All posts by Princess Dianne

Day 1: Let’s Go!

Okay, y’all…if you follow me on my Facebook Fan Page or on YouTube, you saw yesterday that I’ve decided it’s time to finish what I started 5 years ago. It’s time to lose ANOTHER 100 pounds.

No idea what I’m talking about? Here’s the update I shared:

So there are only so many nutritional changes I can make. I haven’t gone back to my old ways (which is why I have kept off 125 pounds for 5 years). I plan to reign in the snacking and get back to basics, so I’m on protein shakes only through Friday. That plan, given to me by my nutritionist, always makes me appreciate healthy food a bit more by the time I’m done with it. 🙂

Exercise is also coming back into my life. Slowly. This week, I’ll walk once around my block and do 10 minutes on the bike. Next week, two laps around the block and 15 minutes on the bike…and so on.

Today is going to be quite a challenge. I’m weaning myself off Ambien and didn’t sleep a stitch last night. I dozed a few times…but that’s it. I feel like I could drink a silo full of coffee right now, y’all. Bring it to me.

I charged up the FitBit last night and I’m wearing it this morning. Seriously, can one of you just follow me around and hug me all day today…because I am so damn tired! LOL. I’m bound to need a little more encouragement for sure. Ugh.

If you’re doing your own challenge, feel free to share it here by making a comment. The entire Hot Mess community is behind you. Let’s do this!

Time to wake up!

Hey, y’all…

Well, first…I can’t believe it’s been so long since I posted on this blog. It’s amazing to me how time gets closer and closer together the older we get. If that makes any sense. It feels like maybe four months since I wrote here. I see that it’s longer.

I’ve been doing a lot of thinking lately, and it all stems from something that took hold in my head last year: the desire to beat my insomnia with something other than a pill. My quest for normal sleep has led me to a lot of places, but it first led me back to therapy. We all have that little voice inside of us…that gut instinct, intuition, or whatever you want to call it that rises up and just knows what is the right way and what is the wrong way. My voice led me right to my therapist.

I’m a strong believer in reaching out for help when you need it. I’ve seen many therapists in my lifetime, but I still had the phone number for the last one…and I like her a lot, so I picked up the phone. If you’ve never been to a therapist before, it feels like it takes forever at the start because you spend the first several sessions explaining why you’re there and what you’ve been dealing with. It was nice not to have to go through my own ancient history again. All I had to do was explain that I wanted to work on curing my insomnia without sleep medication.

I made huge progress in only our second session together. Through the questions she asked and the answers I gave, I finally realized where my insomnia is coming from. Believe it or not, I’ve never been able to pinpoint the WHY behind it all…until now. I realized that my insomnia is deeply rooted in fear, and that I…somewhere inside…do not feel safe. I haven’t felt safe in quite a long time, actually.

I won’t go into great detail here, but I can share that shortly after Hot Mess Hubby and I were married we moved to a new place together. I did not feel safe in this place. We didn’t realize the issue until we had moved in, and we could not afford to move. We lived there for nearly two years until we moved to Texas. It was more than enough time for me to learn to live with my ears open and my mind ready to react if I needed to. I started taking Tylenol PM to go to sleep…and the rest is history.

Now here I am, ready to fix it. Finally. Here’s the plan:

  • Gradually reduce my sleep medication each week
  • Continue with the meditation practices I started months ago (I totally thought I blogged about that!)
  • Continue to learn about the body’s chakras
  • Continue to learn about how energy from others and energy around me affects me…because it really does. Maybe not for everyone, but it’s definitely true for me!
  • Eventually get to a place where I can try yoga. But I can’t right now.

Why? If you follow my Facebook fan page, you know that I’ve been traveling a lot lately and I’ve really put my body through the wringer. Mainly, I’ve torn the meniscus in my left knee. Additionally, I’ve been suffering from mega painful muscle spasms in my lower back and right leg…and I fainted in a restaurant last week.  Seriously, it’s time to reel in the crazy just a bit. Jusssst a bit.

If you’ve taken yourself off sleep meds or have experience with anything I’ve mentioned here, feel free to weigh in. I’d love to hear about what you’ve done, what your tips and best practices are, and any tidbits of wisdom you have to share. Let’s hear it…because I need all the help I can get, and you’ll always be my tribe.

Sorry I took so long to check in.

I need a unicorn…

Years ago, when I first started on my successful weight loss journey, I bought myself a Pandora charm bracelet. I was high on life after being able to touch my feet again, dudes…seriously. Sometimes it’s the little things. You can check out the victory here.

Some of the other charms I bought during the 100+ pounds I lost? For starters, I put a blue glass bead on the bracelet for every size I dropped (although I still owe myself a few). I added an airplane charm to commemorate the first time I flew on a plane and didn’t need the seatbelt extender. Yay!!! The bicycle charm came along when I first started riding a bike again. The pedal snags my clothes, though, so it has since been retired. The handbag charm happened when I went from the 300’s to the 200’s…because my reward was a Texas Rangers Dooney & Bourke handbag, so they kind of went together. 🙂

After a while, the Pandora bracelet ended up in the drawer and stopped taking it out again…until recently. I’m wearing it again and it is begging for a new charm. I started poking around Pandora’s website and guess what? They have a freak’in unicorn charm!!!! SHUT UP AND TAKE MY MONEY!!!!

I put the word out on my last Floss Tube video that I needed help setting a goal to get this charm…and I’ve decided to go with an increased step count on my new Fitbit. When I was in London two weeks ago, I was logging about 15,000 steps a day and that was really causing some pain – so I decided to take baby steps when it comes to step goals. I normally get about 4,000 steps a day, thanks to my usually sedentary job. An increase to 6,500 steps a day seems like a reasonable goal. And there we have it: 6,500 steps per day for 30 days…and the unicorn is mine!!!

So…why a step goal? Because I have a theory and I want to see if I’m right.

As most of you know, I’m prone to foot injuries. I usually hurt myself when I’m walking too fast, or too fast for too long. Doctors have urged me to ride a bike, swim, or do elliptical training in order to take the impact off my feet. Here’s what I think I’m missing: in keeping off my feet when it comes to the walking thing, I’m missing on the healthy-ish impact of slow…regular walking. Not walking for cardio doesn’t mean not walking AT ALL….right? There’s a process your body goes through with walking that I’m missing out on, so I am going to carefully increase my step goal and achieve that goal with slow, deliberate walking instead of the arm-pumping cardio walking that comes to mind when anyone things of fitness walking. We’ll see if that helps the horrible fatigue my feet and legs feel when I play the tourist. And then the unicorn charm will be mine!!!

Well, at least it will be when it’s back in stock. Damn it! It’s out of stock!!!

Until then, I’m keeping my end of the bargain. I made my step goal yesterday. Just 29 days to go, peeps. Hopefully the charm is back in stock by the time I’m ready for it.

Wondering what Floss Tube is? It’s video blogging for needleworkers like me – but I don’t just talk about needlework, so if you’re interested in checking it out here are the links to my first four videos:

Do you have a fun fitness goal? Please share it in the comments below. You might inspire someone else to live a healthier life…so why not?

Have a great day today…and be nice humans. ♥

 

https://www.amazon.com/Fitbit-Charge-Fitness-Wristband-Version/dp/B01K9S260E/ref=as_li_ss_tl?ie=UTF8&qid=1537872030&sr=8-3&keywords=fitbit&th=1&linkCode=ll1&tag=batofthebut-20&linkId=9b5994aff5e6f9a77f318c1432bf61f9&language=en_US
Fitbit Charge 2

More than 100 pounds, almost 5 years, and thousands of stitches later…

I love the Memories feature on Facebook, especially when it reminds me of something completely and totally awesome…like the day I finally hit the 100 pounds lost mark on the scale. That was yesterday. Well done, me.

Fast forward nearly 5 years later, and I’ve managed to keep off that 100 pounds…and lose several more…thanks, in large part, to my addiction to needlework. Yep. Stabbing a piece of fabric thousands of times is actually more therapeutic than eating a bag of Cheetohs after a crappy day at work.

I first learned to stitch in Girl Scouts when I was 9, thinking myself quite the badass for completing a fabulous needlepoint of a Monarch butterfly, embroidering some nifty designs on my Dittos jeans, and completing some other projects…including showing off my new stitchy skills at a Girl Scouts expo at our local mall. It was enough to earn my needlework badge before I got bored of scouting all together. While scouting wasn’t for me, needlework definitely stuck with me even though I wouldn’t pick it up again for a long, long time.

I’ll tell all those stories and more soon enough, but in a sort of video blog on YouTube. As my stitching addiction has grown, I’ve learned about something called Floss Tube. It’s a channel, for lack of a better word, on YouTube that features stitchers from all different parts of the world. Search for Floss Tube on YouTube and you’ll see exactly what I mean.

If you’re just finding my blog for the first time, welcome. If you’ve been here a while you know all about my journey thus far…thank you for sticking with me. After toiling for far too long on the perfect stitchy name for my future adventures, I’ve decided that there really was no need for all that toil…because I’ve had the perfect name for ages:

Hot Mess Princess. Boom. Done. Mic Drop. Why change perfection?

I’m less of a hot mess than I was before, but the name still suits me…and so I’m embracing it, just like all the change I’ve bravely (and sometimes not-so-bravely) forged through over the last several years. It’s time for some fun!

The next few weeks are going to be exciting in my hot mess world:

  • The State Fair of Texas Creative Arts competition results will be announced within the next 10 days…and I’m hoping my entry will win a ribbon (see my Facebook fan page or Instagram for pictures of this year’s entry!)
  • I have 3 trips coming up, all for work, but I should be able to throw some fun into at least one of them…and I’ll be bringing you along
  • I’m going to put up my first Floss Tube video on YouTube…stay tuned

 

Follow me on these social media channels to make sure you don’t miss the fun (and, my darlings, there WILL be fun):

Stay tuned for that YouTube channel…I think I need about another week or two to make this happen.

Have questions? I probably have answers. Or at least I can recommend a nice cup of tea and a biscuit or two. Or a damn good iced coffee. ♥

Well, I did say I was a hot MESS…

I have a very busy life. Busier now than before – and, although it’s just Hot Mess Hubby and me at home, I haven’t been able to keep up with a lot of things that seem natural to the other women in my family…and some of my friends. It makes me feel guilty. Less than. And like I’ve failed in some way. Today, more than ever, I feel that way about the mess in my own home.

A few weeks ago, I made the decision to hire a maid service to come and do a deep cleaning on my home. For at least the last few years, I’ve let myself spin in a vicious circle that begins every Friday afternoon:

  • Get motivated that it’s Friday and I have the weekend to myself
  • Decide to use my weekend to catch up on housecleaning
  • Get home from work, throw on some comfy clothes, and get crazy with the cleaning tasks
  • Go to bed tired, but hopeful
  • Wake up motivated and keep pushing
  • Greet hubby when he wakes up, let him enjoy his time off…keep cleaning
  • Take a break and go stitch or do something else
  • Do a bit more housecleaning, get distracted by hubby, feel guilty that I haven’t done more
  • Begrudgingly agree to leave the house with hubby because he wants to have lunch or go somewhere. Feel guilty that I left the house messy
  • Come home too hot or too tired (or both) to think about more cleaning
  • Wake up Sunday promising myself that I’ll clean, but really need a break…go stitch for a bit
  • Accidentally get sucked into the damn Law & Order marathon on tv
  • Do enough laundry to get us through the work week
  • Possibly make dinner…or bake for work…whichever requires that I make a mess in the kitchen
  • Spend the rest of the night feeling guilty and talking to Hot Mess Hubby
  • Wake up in a house that’s not really clean, feeling like I didn’t accomplish anything, and looking forward to the next weekend when I can “get it all done”

Phew. I suck.

So I’ve finally realized that housework is something I’m not great at…and the only time I’m really organized is when I’m at work. My house is never going to look like Pottery Barn. I have a Saint Bernard, a Saint Berdoodle, and a very fat cat…and, less than a year ago, a 21 year old tabby cat that peed pretty much wherever she damn well felt like it. My sweet girl (she really was a sweet girl) went off to Rainbow Bridge, late last year. I imagine she’s probably peeing on it.

As I write this, I feel guilty and disappointed. There are two maids in my house. They’ve been here for three hours…which is the amount of time a deep cleaning is supposed to take. One of them has spent all her time in the master bathroom and the other has spent all her time in the kitchen. When they came in, they went on and on about how my house wasn’t that bad…and yet it’s taken two professional maids three hours to even begin to clean the crud off of the crud that’s on my crud….in only two rooms of my house.

The guest bathroom isn’t done. The blinds aren’t done. Nothing is dusted. I keep feeling like I might hear sobbing coming from the master suite soon. Spray, spray, spray. Sob. Scrub, scrub, scrub. Sob.

I’ll bet right now you’re wondering whether I’m going to finish this blog before they’re done and then you’ll have to go to bed wondering what the hell ever happened. I’m not, don’t worry…but if I don’t sit here and do something while I’m obsessing over what these total strangers think of me as a person, I’ll go crazy. Crazier.

So I guess I’ll leave this here for now and pray these women aren’t ready to poke a Hot Mess Voodoo Doll to death with their cleaning tools…

*Pause while I await my doom…*

Okay, I’m back! Were you wondering what happened? Well…I’m here to tell you.

Although they predicted that 3 hours and 2 maids would be enough to make my house sparkle, it took 2 maids 5 hours to get it to be…presentable. It’s not their fault that my house doesn’t sparkle. It’s the cheap flat paint that needs to be painted over…and the knicked up baseboards from giant doggies running in their sleep…and the horrible carpet that we refused to replace while the 21 year old peeing princess was still alive. Those things must all be dealt with, but for now…

My house smells clean. The kitchen is cleaner than it’s been in 9 years. I know because that’s when my brother and sister in law visited and their house DOES look like Pottery Barn, so HMH and I cleaned for days before they came.

My living room is dusted, everything is wiped down, and the fake plants aren’t dirty anymore (don’t judge me for having plastic plants…I can’t keep anything without a face alive). The carpet under our bed is vacuumed, much to Hemi the cat’s extreme displeasure. She came waddling out from the bedroom with a distinct “What the fuck is going on here!” look on her face. She is now curled up on the bed with her Chewbacca toy…plotting my death.

I still feel guilty. It was $265 well spent, and yet I feel guilty for needing the help. I am not perfect. I can’t do everything myself. And I’m realizing now that life is too short to have such expectations of myself. Going out to lunch with my husband, or curling up in my stitchy chair and enjoying a good storm outside, is worth a lot to me. More than ever.

So I guess I have something else to do now: accept the gift that I’ve given myself and stop worrying about what these strangers must have thought of my disgusting floors…and my skeezy shower. And maybe put my damn laundry away for once.