Hey, y’all! Sorry I’ve been quiet for a bit – I’m trying to nurse a sick Dyson back to health and he’s not making it easy, poor baby. Here’s hoping you’re all keeping those partially hydrogenated demons away. 🙂
I want to let y’all know that I’ll be replying to several emails today – so if you’ve emailed me and I haven’t responded yet, I apologize. That’s not usually me but this week has been super crazy busy.
I had a big job interview on Thursday. This would be a promotion for me – but what’s more, it would be in a department that I’ve always wanted to work in: communications. I gathered the troops on my Facebook fan page to send all positive thoughts & vibes my way at precisely 9:30 am that morning. Actually, since this interview is for a job in the social media department where I work, I toyed with the idea of asking all my Twitter followers to tweet the hiring managers at precisely 9:30 am – but I figured I may lose points for coordinating the cyber-stalking of the two people I hope will be my bosses.
I got to work at 6 am in order to have time to assemble a portfolio of writing samples and recommendations. I dressed in my suit pants and top, but didn’t want to wrinkle the jacket in the car. I left it in the bag from the cleaners and took it in the car with me – because there is about 10 pounds of Saint Bernard hair on my back seat and I didn’t want my jacket to have dog hair on it, right?
I re-wrote the cover letter and wrote a fake blog post so that the hiring managers could see that I can generate business worthy copy. (Imagine the nervousness after I put my blog on my resume for this position, then hoped to God that the hiring managers didn’t go right to the “Ode to My Right Boob” post!) By the time I was done assembling the portfolios, I had 15 minutes before I had to leave for the interview. I stood up and pulled the plastic wrapping off my suit.
Oh. My. Gawd!
The cleaners gave me the Hot Mess Hubby’s suit jacket. I thought of maybe wearing it, but it’s navy blue…and my pants were black. My friend Gail stood there with me and I felt tears of panic start to well up. Gail is awesome. She was soon trying to rally around for a scarf or sweater – anything to dress me up a little more. There was nothing that was going to fit me. I had to break it to her that I’m not the kind of person who looks good in scarves. Or hats. Might as well just put an extra ass in my pants, really. I’d look just as ridiculous. She calmed me down, I grabbed the portfolios and headed over to the next building. I got there a little early, so I went into the ladies room wash my hands and chill the hell out. That’s when I sprayed front of my top with water. Classic.
Thankfully, my interview was with two of the least pretentious people on the planet. We all had a good laugh about the suit jacket story. The interview went very well. I feel like I did my best and I feel like I made a connection with the two interviewers. At the end of the interview, I asked how many applications they had received. 80. Then I asked how many got the Pinterest assignment (check my boards on Pinterest…you’ll see it). 12 got the assignment. And they chose 8 of those 12 to interview.
Wow. I’m so flattered by the odds! How amazing. This is especially flattering considering that I play all the fat girl games in my head when I have to go to a job interview. I worry that they won’t even take me seriously because of the fat. I worry that they’re not going to be able to focus on my answers because they’ll be thinking “My God, does she realize how huge she is?” Yes, I know: it’s ridiculous. Regardless, all those demons come up to haunt me in situations like these. In my head, I know it’s absurd. During the actual interview, I’m not thinking about it at all because I’m focusing on the questions I’m being asked. But in the hours before an interview, I’m absolutely horrible to myself. Shame on me.
I left the interview and limp-waddled back to my building in the heels I was wearing. 300+ pounds on heels is not a fun thing, trust me. Friends were waiting to find out how it went, so I relayed the whole story. I was so relieved that it was over and that it went well. And now the waiting begins…
Even though it’s a little suspenseful when you’re waiting for that call or email to tell you that you’re either not the person they’re looking for or, better, you got the job – I kind of love this part in the interview process. Anything is possible still. I could get a call with a job offer…and that prospect has me daydreaming regularly about hugging my friends as I tell them the good news, setting up my current desk for the next person to get my job – then packing up and moving over to my new department. I’ve excitedly been thinking about different campaigns I’d like to try if I get this job…I love the world of possibility in my head. And it keeps me from driving myself crazy with “Oh my God, I can’t believe I got the wrong suit jacket!”
I worked for a few hours and then, unfortunately, had to take the afternoon off in order to take Dyson to the vet. Turns out the groomer at Petsmart knicked his little booty when she was shaving him…and he’s given himself a huge hot spot. His fur is extremely thick & dense and I couldn’t see anything wrong until Wednesday night. Poor lil man had a very stressful afternoon.
He’s been on pain killers and puppy Xanax all weekend. I just want to hug him all day. If you’re a dog person, please think good thoughts for Dyson today.
Time to go answer your emails and start the day!