It’s Day 5 of 7 Days of Sanity…and, it’s true, I’m not wearing pants.
Calm down. Think rationally. Of course I’m not going to go running around my office completely uncovered. But this morning I didn’t slip on the typical frumpy, dumpy fat girl pants that I usually have to wear to work. And, no, for Heaven’s sake…I’m not wearing a skirt or a dress. Cankles, hello!
This morning, I put on (and zipped) the first pair of jeans I’ve worn in 2 years.
Our office is closed tomorrow for Good Friday, so today is our last day before the weekend. Fridays are always jeans day at the office. I don’t have a pair of size 32 jeans and I have refused to buy any because I have a whole bunch of size 30 clothes in my closet just waiting for me. As such, I’ve never worn jeans at this job. Unlike most offices, we don’t get to participate in Jeans Day unless we donate $5 for the designated charity for that week. Every Friday is kind of like a nagging little reminder that I’m a big fat fatty…because someone comes through the department to check and see who’s wearing jeans and who has to pay up. And…every Friday…I say “I’m not wearing jeans.” And every Friday, there’s this tiny little voice that reminds me that I’m not wearing jeans because I can’t fit into the ones in my closet. It’s something that makes me fight to stay positive. I tell that little voice to shut up…and I remind myself that I’m working on it.
Sure, I could have gone out to buy bigger jeans, but I have adamantly refused to buy bigger clothes for myself and I’m sticking to it. I’ve burned that bridge. In fact, I’ll show you what I did with my last pair of size 32 jeans…tomorrow. It’s pretty funny.
But today…I am incredibly proud to be the girl who’s lost 32 pounds and is wearing size 30 jeans at work. 32 marbles have gone plink, plink, plink in the jar. 187 marbles are waiting to be moved. And they will move. It’s all in my power.
I’ll leave you guys with this for today: me in my jeans at work. Still a big fat girl, I know…but working on it every day and moving forward no matter how hard my personal demons try to throw me off course. I’ve got this.
Today, I am a Hot Mess Bad Ass.