Today is the 26th day I’ve gone without sugar. 🙂 I’m feel’in kinda good about that! My DNA is hard coded with pure cane sugar, so this is quite a feat for me. In fact, in over 20 years of battling my issues with body image and weight, I’ve never been able to do it before. Yay me!
Have you ever easily succeeded at something you thought was going to be extremely difficult and it makes you…suspicious? Okay, I’m not seriously suspicious, but hear me out. I mean, except for day 9 when I nearly put the Playstation 3 controller in the microwave because the hubby’s crack was showing as he sat on his “sniper perch” on the ottoman, I haven’t really had too hard of a time with this. Oh, I get cravings…but so far I’ve been able to manage them fairly well. It’s just that I don’t have the best luck in the world. So naturally, every once in a while the sick idea pops in my head that the Mayans were dead on in their predictions and the entire universe will come to an end just as I hit my goal weight. Shit.
No, no, no. I don’t care what the movie says…2012 is my year!
I’ve spent most of the last year and a half trying to figure out what works best for me. For example, I know that I’m not successful by blindly following anyone else’s plan. It doesn’t work for me. I hate gyms. I can’t stand those perky gym people. And I hate feeling like I have to constantly talk to someone about my progress and my goals. I want to talk about it when I want to talk about it and I don’t when I don’t. And I don’t want it to define me to the people I care about. As I go through this, I’m getting more and more in touch with what I like (and don’t like) about my own weight loss process.
Have you ever declared to the world that you’re done with the junk? You’re eating healthy. You’re working out. It’s a healthy lifestyle for you! Have you ever done that and then suddenly everyone in your life turns into an effing fitness expert? I hate that!!!
My wish for all of my fellow chubbies out there is that they be surrounded by friends and loved ones who support them and shut the hell up. Seriously. Just hug us and move along.
Perhaps I should clarify that when I say I gave up sugar, I mean sweets. I gave up cheesecake, ice cream, desserts, and anything that resembles a “snack cake”. These are the things that give me an emotional high when I eat them. So when I say I gave up sugar, I don’t mean that I’m buying that bread that’s the consistency of plywood. Sure, I buy whole grain bread and stay away from white sugar and flour in anything – but I don’t get all freaked out if I see sugar on the label for something. My goal is to cut out foods that give me emotional satisfaction, not to obsess over a single ingredient.
Recently, I was enjoying something that had sugar in it when someone walked by and “caught” me. He literally pointed at what I was eating and cried “That has sugar in it!!” He was almost joyful about it. My annoyance level skyrocketed and I was immediately overcome with the urge to swing my purse at the side of his head.
Thanks, dude. Thanks for making me feel like a child. Thanks for being gleeful that you “caught” me at something. Way to be a champion of love & support. Thanks for acting like a shit head.
Years ago, one of my siblings would ask “How’s your weight going?” within 5 minutes of the start of any conversation. Finally, I started answering “Fine, how’s yours?” Amazing how quickly it stopped. 🙂
It amazes me how “helpful” people think they are and I wonder…if they had to spend even one day in one of those “fat suits” that takes them from a size 5 to a size 30…how long would it take them to realize they didn’t much like being evaluated by their size? How long before they realized they’re being constantly tried and convicted by people who have never had to carry around even half that much weight? How long before they understand that it’s better to reach out with love and support instead of the need to be teach us all a lesson…if there’s even a lesson to be learned from their lack of compassion and manners.
It’s taken me a long, long time to get to the point where I can examine things for myself and decide what’s best for me without being swayed by those around me. With all my heart, I sincerely encourage everyone who’s trying to lose weight (whether it’s 5 pounds or 500) to listen to their own gut instinct. I succeed when I listen to my gut. I fail when I start following other people’s routes and not my own. I fail when I let other people get in my head. If I stick to my own road and keep to my own agenda…I succeed. It may take me a little longer than other people think it should take…and I may be doing it the “wrong” way, but it’s the only way for me.
So do your own thing, my friends. Walk your own walk, talk your own talk. If anyone tells you you’re doing it wrong or going too slow, just remember this:
No matter how slow you go, you’re still lapping everyone on the couch.
You got this. And so do I. 🙂