You’re So Helpful…Bless Your Heart

Today is the 26th day I’ve gone without sugar. 🙂 I’m feel’in kinda good about that! My DNA is hard coded with pure cane sugar, so this is quite a feat for me. In fact, in over 20 years of battling my issues with body image and weight, I’ve never been able to do it before. Yay me!

Have you ever easily succeeded at something you thought was going to be extremely difficult and it makes you…suspicious? Okay, I’m not seriously suspicious, but hear me out. I mean, except for day 9 when I nearly put the Playstation 3 controller in the microwave because the hubby’s crack was showing as he sat on his “sniper perch” on the ottoman, I haven’t really had too hard of a time with this. Oh, I get cravings…but so far I’ve been able to manage them fairly well. It’s just that I don’t have the best luck in the world. So naturally, every once in a while the sick idea pops in my head that the Mayans were dead on in their predictions and the entire universe will come to an end just as I hit my goal weight. Shit.

No, no, no. I don’t care what the movie says…2012 is my year!

I’ve spent most of the last year and a half trying to figure out what works best for me. For example, I know that I’m not successful by blindly following anyone else’s plan. It doesn’t work for me. I hate gyms. I can’t stand those perky gym people. And I hate feeling like I have to constantly talk to someone about my progress and my goals. I want to talk about it when I want to talk about it and I don’t when I don’t. And I don’t want it to define me to the people I care about. As I go through this, I’m getting more and more in touch with what I like (and don’t like) about my own weight loss process.

Have you ever declared to the world that you’re done with the junk? You’re eating healthy. You’re working out. It’s a healthy lifestyle for you! Have you ever done that and then suddenly everyone in your life turns into an effing fitness expert? I hate that!!!

My wish for all of my fellow chubbies out there is that they be surrounded by friends and loved ones who support them and shut the hell up. Seriously. Just hug us and move along.

Perhaps I should clarify that when I say I gave up sugar, I mean sweets. I gave up cheesecake, ice cream, desserts, and anything that resembles a “snack cake”. These are the things that give me an emotional high when I eat them. So when I say I gave up sugar, I don’t mean that I’m buying that bread that’s the consistency of plywood. Sure, I buy whole grain bread and stay away from white sugar and flour in anything – but I don’t get all freaked out if I see sugar on the label for something. My goal is to cut out foods that give me emotional satisfaction, not to obsess over a single ingredient.

Recently, I was enjoying something that had sugar in it when someone walked by and “caught” me. He literally pointed at what I was eating and cried “That has sugar in it!!” He was almost joyful about it. My annoyance level skyrocketed and I was immediately overcome with the urge to swing my purse at the side of his head.

Thanks, dude. Thanks for making me feel like a child. Thanks for being gleeful that you “caught” me at something. Way to be a champion of love & support. Thanks for acting like a shit head.

Years ago, one of my siblings would ask “How’s your weight going?” within 5 minutes of the start of any conversation. Finally, I started answering “Fine, how’s yours?” Amazing how quickly it stopped. 🙂

It amazes me how “helpful” people think they are and I wonder…if they had to spend even one day in one of those “fat suits” that takes them from a size 5 to a size 30…how long would it take them to realize they didn’t much like being evaluated by their size? How long before they realized they’re being constantly tried and convicted by people who have never had to carry around even half that much weight? How long before they understand that it’s better to reach out with love and support instead of the need to be teach us all a lesson…if there’s even a lesson to be learned from their lack of compassion and manners.

It’s taken me a long, long time to get to the point where I can examine things for myself and decide what’s best for me without being swayed by those around me. With all my heart, I sincerely encourage everyone who’s trying to lose weight (whether it’s 5 pounds or 500) to listen to their own gut instinct. I succeed when I listen to my gut. I fail when I start following other people’s routes and not my own. I fail when I let other people get in my head. If I stick to my own road and keep to my own agenda…I succeed. It may take me a little longer than other people think it should take…and I may be doing it the “wrong” way, but it’s the only way for me.

So do your own thing, my friends. Walk your own walk, talk your own talk. If anyone tells you you’re doing it wrong or going too slow, just remember this:

No matter how slow you go, you’re still lapping everyone on the couch.

You got this. And so do I. 🙂

14 thoughts on “You’re So Helpful…Bless Your Heart

  1. Holy crap, are you sure you aren’t me!? Oh, your story is so similar to mine, I stopped even telling people what I am doing to try and lose this weight. Way to go on all your hard work with giving up the sweets, that’s a hard one for me too. My problem is I keep hearing exercise, exercise, exercise, yes I know I need to exercise but I’m trying to lose some weight first so I CAN exercise! My knee and hip hurts so bad right now I can hardly walk. People don’t really understand the pain of being 360 lbs, wow I don’t think I have ever actually typed that number “outloud” lol….Anyway, congrats and keep up the great work!

    1. Crystal, I feel your pain, sister…we may be twins. 🙂 I’m at 368 lbs and, while I can usually handle the join pain that comes with that…I can’t handle the friction sores that happen when I try to work out (and I won’t get any more graphic than that). I can still handle 10 minutes, so that’s what I’m aiming for…and I have just put a reminder on my calendar this morning (thank God for smart phones) that I need to dig out my hand weights & resistance bands and get them out here to the living room. That way when I’m writing on the laptop or watching tv with the hubby, I can do a few sets of strength training exercises. Building muscle is SO good for us.

      Congrats on saying 360 outloud. 🙂 I understand the feeling…it’s important to acknowledge where you are. But remember that it’s just a number and doesn’t define the wonderful person you are!

  2. 26 days!? I know I wouldn’t be able to do it. You’re amazing.
    About stuff that’s supposed to be difficult but ends up being incredibly easy: almost three years ago, I stopped smoking after more than 10 years of addiction to cigarettes. I stopped without help or support. And I knew from day one that it was for good. People thought I was stupid or pretentious, but I didn’t pay attention to their remarks and behold! I am still tobacco free, and would rather lose an arm and a leg than start smoking again.
    So I think you’re right: follow you gut feeling, your instinct if you will, and let people speak!

    1. Virginie, that’s amazing! Congratulations!!! You made me smile because that is exactly how I felt about sweets: I knew it was for good. I just knew it. What an amazing accomplishment for you. I know quite a few people who are still struggling with it. Tobacco is one of the hardest things to quit. Good for you!

  3. Congratulations! That is a very hard thing to do. It seems I’ve come to realize the same thing you have. We have to find out what works for us and stick to it even if it’s a slow process it’s better than not doing anything at all. We will all make it if we are true to ourselves. You put down into words what I can’t say out loud. You really inspire me Dianne! Thank you!

  4. Donna, thank you so much for your kind comments…I’m glad you’ve made this realization as well. It really is important to our success. No two people are alike and following some “30 day shred” plan for fitness nazis is most likely not going to help us in the long run. We have to be real with ourselves about what is keeping us from our goals and then move those roadblocks out of the way…and then we really have to look at how we like to workout. For example, I used to just run to join a gym when I would start my healthy living attempts and then I realized how much I absolutely HATE the gym. I was going to the gym all stressed out and angry and I couldn’t figure out why. LOL. Why? Because I hate the gym!! Know yourself and you’ll succeed. 🙂

  5. Dianne, you amaze me! And I’m so proud of you! Staying away from sugar and sweet treats is monumental. It’s my downfall as well. I will say I’ve cut mine way back from what I used to eat, and that’s huge progress for me. You inspire me!

    1. Thanks, Liz!!! I don’t know how I’m doing it, honestly…today I said no to birthday cake from Costco. Their frosting is like crack to me!!

  6. I love reading your posts. I actually “laugh out loud” and get weird looks at work. I “shhuuuushed!” one of my coworkers because they were rudely talking to me while I was reading your recent entry. The nerve! Psh!
    I’m like you as one of my butts is responsible for Papa Murphy’s pizza and the other one and half is responsible for Ben and Jerry’s.
    Your right my friend, 2012 is our year!!!

    1. LOL Karrie, your reply made ME giggle. I’m quite happy & weirdly proud to be a source of laughter for my readers. How the hell else are we going to get through this? And we WILL get through it. 🙂

  7. You Rock. That really about sums it up for me. I’m so glad I found your blog. The more I read the more amazed I am at how much we’re all “the same but different.” You said exactly how I feel. Do your own thing and find what works for YOU. Everyone else is just trying to sell us a lifestyle that we can never realistically live. Way to go on your 26 days!! Here’s to many many more! Oh, and Virginie..I quit smoking in June of 2011 after 10 yrs and I did it cold turkey, no help just me. I was ready and I knew it was time. I’ve never been more proud of a personal accomplishment. Congrats on your quitting as well!

    1. Allison – isn’t it amazing how the simplest answer is often the best answer? 🙂 Follow your own heart. And congratulations to you AND Virginie for quitting smoking. Amazing! I have nephews who’ve quit and it was no small thing, that’s for sure – but so much healthier for you!! Congrats!!

  8. You are so right on this whole do it your own way idea.  Everyone is different – THANK GOD!! Sugar is addictive – but oh soooo good.  It basically turns everybody into bi-polar crackheads. Mood way up high, then crash way down low, then you need another fix.  I am enjoying reading your blog so much – should catch all the way up before I go to bed tonight.  So glad I discovered you. Isn’t the self dicovery process you are on liberating?

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