7 Days of Sanity is DONE! Happy Easter!!

Hey, y’all!

Day 7 is done and today is REST DAY!  (Or it was…I know this is coming late!)

I did 6 of 7 days of insanity, losing 1 day on Wednesday when I had a migraine and was in a stupor.  How did you do?

I meant what I said when I declared that I was going to pick this right back up again tomorrow.  Seven more days of sanity starts tomorrow for me.  I absolutely need to make consistent exercise a habit – and it’s going to require the same persistence I applied to getting my eating habits in line.

I’m going to move the tracking of 7 Days of Sanity over to my Facebook Fan Page, however, as it’s just not possible for me to update the blog every single day (and those of you who subscribe by email will probably be thankful I’m not spamming your email every day with Sanity updates, right!)  If you’d like to join the challenge, I’m going to try using Facebook events and see how well that works.  Then you can share with friends and, hopefully, we’ll all help motivate each other to start healthy habits.

This is a short post today, as it’s Easter (which means in the Hot Mess Household that the hubby sleeps on his ass all day and I clean everything myself…don’t get me started).  I’ll be back tomorrow to share one of my big motivators with you.

Speaking of motivating…I moved another marble this morning.  33 pounds and counting.

339 by the end of the month…I’ve got this.

Happy Easter!!!

Is That a Size 32 Tote Bag?

Hey y’all!

When I rejoiced in my last post that I could finally fit back into my size 30 jeans for the first time in 2 years, I also promised to tell you what happened to the last pair of size 32 jeans I owned…so here it goes:

Way back in 2009, I lost some weight (that I ended up gaining back) and dropped from a size 32 to a size 30 – which I’ve just now done again. (For the LAST time…hollah!) I realized that I had dropped a size when I was walking up the stairs in our home and my size 32 jeans fell down around my ankles, nearly sending me rolling in a pantless heap to the bottom of the stairs.

Sometimes fashion can be so dangerous.

I vowed to get rid of all my size 32 clothes, effectively burning all bridges – but I felt that respect and reverence should be paid to the jeans that lovingly covered all four of my asses for so long.

But what to do with them, I wondered…

I wanted to do something that was both fun and motivating. Something that would be useful, perhaps…yet would help me to remember that I never EVER want to wear these jeans again. And that’s when it hit me…

If you’re one of my regular readers, you already know that I am a self-proclaimed “handbag ho”. I love handbags. I am an addict. In fact, if someone from Dooney & Burke came over and dangled a purse over my treadmill I would probably run myself to death trying to grab it.

Here lies Dianne…ran herself to death over a rather divine looking satchel.

Anyway…

Do you remember when blue jean handbags were all the rage? How cute is this?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I always wanted one and never got one. And then I heard a little voice in my head say “Hey! I’ve got a pair of jeans I’m not going to use again!!!”

Yes.  Yes, it’s exactly what you’re thinking.  I took that pair of size 32 jeans and I made myself a BIG ASS TOTE BAG!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Look at how ROOMY this fabulous tote is!  Y’all just know I’m the envy of all my friends with this fabulously spacious tote, right?

AND to make sure I stay focused on my goal and remember my 381 pound beginning, I placed a cupcake patch on the tote’s ass. Reminder: eat too many of THESE and you’ll be back in these jeans again…so JUST SAY NO!!!!

(No, I’m not drunk in this picture…just giddy with excitement over my amazing new tote bag!)

For those of you who are wondering, YES…I really use this tote bag. Those ghetto .99 cent reusable bags just tremble in fear when I go shopping…they can’t hold a fraction of the shit I can cram in this bad boy.

I can’t sew for shit, that much is clear. I used pink bandanas for the shoulder strap and I sewed off the legs in an uneven line, but oh well!  Trust me, when someone sees me lugging $300 in groceries out of the grocery store in the ass of my old jeans they’re not going to point and yell “Hey, the bottom seam is uneven, lady!”

For me, this was a perfect and FUN project for me to do that would give me a good giggle and yet help me remember one simple fact: put the wrong kind of groceries in here and you’ll be buying size 32’s again!

 

Fashion can be so motivating. 🙂

Just a little something I like to call…

 

We’ll wrap up 7 Days of Sanity tomorrow. Happy Easter everyone!!

** I got the image of that adorable blue jean handbag from Worn Again, in case you want to check them out. I have no affiliation to the seller, I just like to give credit where credit is due!

7 Days of Sanity: Day 5…I’m not wearing pants!

It’s Day 5 of 7 Days of Sanity…and, it’s true, I’m not wearing pants. 

Calm down.  Think rationally.  Of course I’m not going to go running around my office completely uncovered.  But this morning I didn’t slip on the typical frumpy, dumpy fat girl pants that I usually have to wear to work.  And, no, for Heaven’s sake…I’m not wearing a skirt or a dress.  Cankles, hello! 

(drumroll….)

This morning, I put on (and zipped) the first pair of jeans I’ve worn in 2 years.  

TWO YEARS!!!!!

Our office is closed tomorrow for Good Friday, so today is our last day before the weekend.  Fridays are always jeans day at the office.  I don’t have a pair of size 32 jeans and I have refused to buy any because I have a whole bunch of size 30 clothes in my closet just waiting for me.  As such, I’ve never worn jeans at this job.  Unlike most offices, we don’t get to participate in Jeans Day unless we donate $5 for the designated charity for that week.  Every Friday is kind of like a nagging little reminder that I’m a big fat fatty…because someone comes through the department to check and see who’s wearing jeans and who has to pay up.  And…every Friday…I say “I’m not wearing jeans.”  And every Friday, there’s this tiny little voice that reminds me that I’m not wearing jeans because I can’t fit into the ones in my closet.  It’s something that makes me fight to stay positive.  I tell that little voice to shut up…and I remind myself that I’m working on it. 

Sure, I could have gone out to buy bigger jeans, but I have adamantly refused to buy bigger clothes for myself and I’m sticking to it.  I’ve burned that bridge.  In fact, I’ll show you what I did with my last pair of size 32 jeans…tomorrow.  It’s pretty funny.  

But today…I am incredibly proud to be the girl who’s lost 32 pounds and is wearing size 30 jeans at work.  32 marbles have gone plink, plink, plink in the jar.  187 marbles are waiting to be moved.  And they will move.  It’s all in my power.

I’ll leave you guys with this for today:  me in my jeans at work.  Still a big fat girl, I know…but working on it every day and moving forward no matter how hard my personal demons try to throw me off course.  I’ve got this.

Today, I am a Hot Mess Bad Ass.

7 Days of Sanity: Day 2 is DONE, Day 3 is HERE!!

Hey, peeps!  How are your 7 Days of Sanity going?

The scale stood firmly at 351 Monday morning (and also this morning), but that is a very good thing and I’ll tell you why in just a minute.  Prepare yourselves for something dreadful and horrible…something unheard of in the Hot Mess world. Sunday, the Hot Mess Hubby took me to the movies…and I had movie theater popcorn! GASP!!!

I knew we were going to the movies, so I had a light breakfast. The movie started at 10:45 am.  I planned to eat popcorn.  It’s just one of the most inhumane things in the world to expect me to walk into a movie theater and not have popcorn.  I should tell you that, although I’m a movie buff, I married a guy who thinks it is absolute torture to sit still in a dark theatre for an hour and a half…so I go to the movies about once a year.  In fact, the last movie he took me to see was Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, Part II…and only because I threatened to kill him if he didn’t.  So if eat movie theater popcorn once a year…big deal, really.  And yes…it had butter on it.  Perfectly popped, partially hydrogenated evil in a box.  And I ate it.  And it was gooood.

We saw “The Hunger Games”, which I originally thought was a tell-all documentary about the diet industry.  Katniss Everdeen and the wild game diet.  Peeta, aka the Boy with the Bread…really, c’mon.  A cute guy with carbs?   How can I resist that??

Okay, I’m kidding…I knew what it was about.  I’ve read all 3 books. 

But back to my popcorn…

Like I said, I had a light breakfast with a chaser of movie theater popcorn at 10:45 am…and I didn’t even begin to feel hungry until 5 pm that night. I made a grilled turkey burger and some baked, seasoned fries and that was it.  The next morning I got up and got on the scale…351.  Good boy, Mr. Scale…good boy!

I was a little afraid that my partially hydrogenated tryst was going to make the scale flinch a little bit, but it didn’t.  I win!!  I worked out on the treadmill for 30 minutes on Sunday and 31 minutes on Monday.  Tonight will be 32 minutes.  Tomorrow will be 33.  I’m going to work my way up to 45 minutes consistently this month.  Next month, I’ll shoot for 60 minutes.  Time to get serious about this exercise thing.

How’s everyone doing? Time to check in!!

For Love of Number 2 Pencils and Teachers Everywhere

Last week was National #2 Pencil Day.  I meant to post this on the actual day, March 30th, but I was solely focused on my goal of hitting 349 by the end of the month and I completely lost track…sorry!!

Pencils are a far cry from my usual talk about scales, treadmills, and evil snack cakes, but the #2 pencil is actually very near and dear to my heart.  In fact, I once tried to sharpen my regular ‘ol #2 pencil at work and nearly broke down when I was informed that we didn’t have a pencil sharpener!  The receptionist/former stripper who was in charge of ordering our supplies would only order automatic pencils.  I nearly freaked. Maybe that’s why I don’t miss working there.

I remember when automatic pencils came out and they were all the rage. I didn’t see it.  I still don’t see it.   And yes, I realize this is the digital age and pencils aren’t exactly a hot topic.   I’m actually a bit of a techno junkie.  I love technology – but when it comes to how I get my lead on, mechanical pencils just don’t do it for me.

I am a plain, regular, #2 pencil kind of girl.  I usually write with a pen, but there are times – usually when the muses have left me and I’m searching for inspiration – when I must put pencil to paper.  Getting back to basics helps me clear my head and get the creativity going again.

When I’m feeling particularly uninspired, writing with a pencil takes me back to simpler times.  Nothing helps me gain clarity faster than the feeling of a #2 pencil, sharpened by hand, as it moves over paper.  It takes me back to the days of elementary school, where I sat like a perfect little lady in Miss Vanderkam’s 4th grade class.  I remember vividly the unbridled thrill I would get as she handed out what we called “story paper”.  The front 3/4 was blank paper, the bottom 1/4 was that widely lined paper we all remember so well…which also continued on the back.  This is the paper on which we were asked to create our masterpieces of literature.

As the math geeks groaned in horror, I was already pulling my beloved box of 64 crayons from my desk.  That blank paper might have been intimidating to some, but to me it was a playground where I could do or be anything I wanted to.

I scratched out the story with my #2 pencil and then set about bringing it to life with my faithful box of crayons. There was never a day when I didn’t know what story to write on that paper. The creativity just switched on as soon as the paper landed in front of me.  There was a world of inspiration in my 8 year old heart.  Those blank pages brought me nothing but joy – and that is when the writer in me was born.

I wish I could talk to Ms. Vanderkam just one more time and tell her how very much I appreciate everything she did for me.  I remember when she called a special parent-teacher conference with my mother and me.  I thought perhaps I might be in trouble for daydreaming too much or for using the wrong shade of gray when I drew stormy clouds.  I sat in the empty classroom next to my mother and watched my teacher show her story after story after story that I’d written with my #2 pencil – all masterpieces in her eyes.

I sat there, relieved that the reason for the conference wasn’t because I had unwittingly committed some kind of 4th grade fingerpaint faux pas, and listened like the good girl I was.  They talked about how important it was to encourage me to write and be creative and I remember thinking how cool it was that there was something I was good at besides dressing my Barbie in color coordinating outfits (with handbags to match, thank you!).  I walked out of the classroom with my mom and she hugged me as we walked to the car.  It’s the first memory I have of feeling really proud of myself.

Over the years to come, I would use countless #2 pencils to pass notes to my girlfriends, take math tests (yuck), and even to write my first book – which I started in 7th grade and carried around in an orange folder discreetly marked “TOP SECRET” in big, black marker.

Today I live a decidedly more “grown up” life – and I occasionally get mired down in a world of grown-up concerns: politics, career, our finances, Hot Mess Hubby’s uncanny knack for getting food in the flatware drawer.  Still today, so many years after I sat in Miss Vanderkam’s class, I know I can find a little simplicity and a lot of inspiration alive and well…and waiting for me at the tip of a #2 pencil.

Melissa Doug Storytelling Paper Pad (8.5″x11″)

A big, heartfelt thank you to the truly gifted educators out there who make children a priority each and every day.  You give us all a foundation to build on for the rest of our lives.  🙂